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Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy
Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax. The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime. Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered. Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry. Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades. Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.” Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you. Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so. Susan Hoskins For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES: Why ‘sexual inconsistency’ can make unhappy relationships The Conversation ‘Fame is a drug like LSD’: Robbie Williams on success, sexuality and his simian movie alter ego The Guardian Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times University of Iowa announces plans to close Gender, Women's, and Sexuality Studies department Fox News UI planning to close departments of Gender, Women’s and Sexuality Studies; American Studies The Gazette How to talk to neurodiverse kids about sex Seattle's Child Ex-manager of Leesburg business admits to sexually assaulting juvenile employee Loudoun Times-Mirror Chris Brown Files $500 Million Suit Against Warner Bros. Over Sexual Assault Allegations in Doc Rolling Stone Sexual Identity Is More Fluid han Previously Thought FlaglerLive.com Coast Guard commandant fired over operational failures, response to sexual assault cover-up Stars and Stripes Chris Brown Sues Warner Bros Discovery for Defamation Over Documentary Hollywood Reporter Jury begins deliberating in trial of former YDC counselor charged with sexually assaulting teenager WMUR Manchester Dalrymple to lead ongoing SBC sexual abuse response The Baptist Paper The Unusual Epistle that Helps Me Counsel on Sexuality ChristianityToday.com Top headlines: New leadership for SBC sexual abuse response; CA wildfire relief; Trump returns to White House; and more Alabama Baptist Justin Baldoni shares on-set ‘It Ends With Us’ footage to counter Blake Lively’s sexual harassment claims New York Post Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Mercer Island man sentenced for in-flight sexual assault The Seattle Times Florida men's basketball assistant accused of sexual assault in Title IX complaint will continue to be with team Yahoo Sports Sexual Abuse Is NOT Charitable Justia Verdict What is Comprehensive Sexuality Education? GMA News Online Mercer Island man sentenced to 10 years for sexual abuse of teen on Seattle-bound flight - KOMO News Broad museum hit with discrimination and sexual harassment lawsuit Los Angeles Times Janet Mills pardoned a man she defended in a sexual assault case Bangor Daily News Chemical signals and social structures strengthen sexual isolation in Drosophila pseudoobscura Nature.com Twin Cities nurse stripped of license, sued for sexual relationship with paraplegic client Star Tribune Boston doctor accused of sexual abuse by more than 200 former patients is indicted on rape charges GBH News Comprehensive sexuality education UNFPA News Unhappy with your date? Study reveals how your sexuality may lower relationship satisfaction Hindustan Times Northern Colorado teacher facing sexual assault charge, police say there may be more victims CBS Colardo Lawsuit alleges female workers were harassed at Detroit Stellantis complex, federal agency says CBS News The importance of human sexuality in counseling American Counseling Association A horrifying child sexual assault trend. SCOTUS can help The Christian Post Former Yorkville doctor receives 37 year prison sentence for criminal sexual assault of a minor Shaw Local Laura Caron arrested: Middle Township Elementary School teacher accused of having sexual relationship and baby with student 6ABC Philadelphia Researchers explain social media’s role in rapidly shifting social norms on gender and sexuality UC Santa Cruz Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Florida high school football coach arrested for sexual activity with a minor, police say FirstCoastNews.com WTLV-WJXX On The Intersection Of Criminology & Sexuality Pacific University UK backs local inquiries into child sexual abuse gangs after Musk stoked controversy The Associated Press Teacher charged with allegedly sexually assaulting former student, having his child WGHP FOX8 Greensboro Upper Body Strength Predicts Sexual Partner Count in Men and Women Neuroscience News US Catholics paid more than $5 billion for allegations of sexual abuse of minors over 20 years: study The Christian Post Wayne County Man Accused of Sexually Abusing a Child 8 Years Ago Finger Lakes Daily News Louisiana Legislature passes bill restricting discussion of gender and sexuality Louisana Illuminator ‘She screamed stop’: Mass. doctor accused of sexually assaulting patients arraigned on rape charges Boston 25 News Davenport man arrested; accused of sexual abuse, incest WHBF - OurQuadCities.com UF SG started a Gender and Sexuality Protection agency. What’s next? The Independent Florida Alligator Your handshake might determine if you will have long-term relationships, more sexual partners: Study Hindustan Times |
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