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Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy
Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax. The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime. Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered. Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry. Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades. Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.” Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you. Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so. Susan Hoskins For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES: RHOBH's Kyle Richards Shares Journey of Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Media Scrutiny - E! Online E! NEWS 'RHOBH' Star Kyle Richards Opens Up About Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Mauricio Umansky Separation Yahoo Entertainment What is demisexuality? I’m a Celebrity star Tulisa Contostavlos reveals her sexuality; know all about it Hindustan Times Why Tulisa no longer has sexual intercourse after announcing she's demisexual in I'm A Celeb episode LADbible Police Report Offers Graphic Details of Sexual Assault Claim Against Hegseth The New York Times Parents in Massachusetts School District Can’t Opt Out of ‘Sexuality,’ ‘Gender Identity’ Lessons The Lion 'Strange logic' surrounding sexuality & rape: If husband's needs are fulfilled 'this won't happen' FRANCE 24 English Lawsuit alleges IHOPKC failed to act when minor was sexually harassed, bullied at retreat Kansas City Star Police records reveal new details about sexual assault allegation against Pete Hegseth The Washington Post 'RHOBH' Star Kyle Richards Opens Up About Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Mauricio Umansky Separation Women's Health Kyle Richards’ Sexuality: Everything the ‘RHOBH’ Star Has Said Amid Mauricio Separation Life&Style Weekly Urologist Who Sexually Abused Patients Is Sentenced to Life in Prison The New York Times Hamilton business owner admits to sexual assault of 19-year-old Hamilton Journal News A Dickinson County Man to Stand Trial on Charges of Criminal Sexual Conduct Against Two Minors Bay Cities Radio Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Alcohol and sexual assault on college campuses: What is KU doing for prevention? The University Daily Kansan The Gendered Battle Over Digital Sexual Abuse in South Korea New Lines Magazine Romanesque churches’ explicitly sexual carvings were ‘the nobility’s political propaganda’ EL PAÍS USA Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Alan Jones, Former Australian Shock Jock, Charged With Sexual Abuse The New York Times 'American Idol' Star Clay Aiken Bizarrely Brings Up Shawn Mendes' Sexuality During Interview Wide Open Country Trump’s Latest Cabinet Pick Is Also Mired in a Sexual Abuse Scandal The New Republic Arsenal fans’ open letter to club over sexual violence concerns attracts 7,300 signatures The Athletic ‘For the very first time I really enjoyed sex!’ − how lesbian escort agencies became a form of self-care in Japan The Conversation A week in France - Le Pen's fake jobs trial, Major shifts in sexuality over the last decade, and Notre-Dame FRANCE 24 English Leacock Township man will spend at least a year in county prison for sexually assaulting teenager LNP | LancasterOnline Senator wants info on inspectors general office sexual harassment settlements - Government Executive Senator wants info on inspectors general office sexual harassment settlements Government Executive Defense pick Hegseth paid accuser but denies sexual assault, attorney says The Washington Post What is demisexuality, a lesser-known sexual orientation that everyone is talking about? - Firstpost Shocking video shows doctor walking around nude, performing sexual act in front of workers Arizona's Family Shawn Mendes Said He Chose To Publicly Discuss His Sexuality Last Month Because He Wants To Live His “Authentic Truth” Yahoo Entertainment Trump Stands by Defense Pick Who Says Encounter With Woman Was Not Sexual Assault The New York Times Sexual harassment lawsuit filed against Lexington rental property owner, manager LEX 18 News - Lexington, KY Cincinnati doctor under investigation by State Medical Board for alleged sexual misconduct WLWT Cincinnati Las Vegas man accused of sexually harassing 17-year-old waitress in Cedar City restaurant - ABC4.com Orange County choir teacher arrested for alleged sexual relations with teenage student CBS Los Angeles What Is Demisexuality? Im A Celebrity Fame Tulisa Contostavlos Opens Up About Her Sexual Identity Free Press Journal Commissioner’s daughter steps forward as the woman he sexually assaulted in Las Vegas Greenfield Daily Reporter Eagan police says reported November sexual assault at Lebanon Hills Park was fabricated - KARE11.com |
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