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Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy
Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax. The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime. Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered. Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry. Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades. Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.” Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you. Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so. Susan Hoskins For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES: Bill addressing sexuality content and parental notification in schools heading to Gov. DeWine's desk WTOL What, Exactly, Is Abrosexuality? Men's Health ‘Fame is a drug like LSD’: Robbie Williams on success, sexuality and his simian movie alter ego The Guardian Robbie Williams on Sexuality Rumors: ‘You’ve Never Met Somebody That Wants to Be Gay as Much as Me’ Variety ‘Sexuality is as individual as a fingerprint’: Daniel Craig and Luca Guadagnino on Queer The Guardian Yale Gender Studies Dept. to offer courses on Beyonce, Sex, "Friendships between Black Women and White Women," others Campus Reform I'm a sexologist, but talking about sex with my teenage sons is still awkward. These 7 things make it easier. Business Insider Bill that could force educators to out students' sexuality, gender identity heads to DeWine's desk WKYC.com Opinion | The Surprising Sexual Politics of Nicole Kidman’s Kinky ‘Babygirl’ The New York Times Heterosexual Women More Likely to Report Sexual Dysfunction During Menopause Managed Healthcare Executive Justin Baldoni dropped by his talent agency after Blake Lively's sexual harassment complaint Page Six The Trend This Oscar Season: Women Reclaiming Their Sexuality Hollywood Reporter Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Blake Lively accuses director, co-star of 'It Ends with Us' of sexual harassment, smear campaign Los Angeles Times Justin Baldoni suffers first serious consequence following Blake Lively sexual harassment lawsuit Marca English A once banned sexual activity in NY is now legal Olean Times Herald NYPD Chief of Department Jeffrey Maddrey resigns amid sexual misconduct allegations; Head of NYPD Internal Affairs removed ABC7 New York How to Talk About Your Sexual Health National Council on Aging Justin Baldoni dropped by talent agency after Blake Lively files sexual harassment lawsuit against him NationalWorld Man Charged with Sexual Exploitation of a Minor Nashville.gov Former Hamilton County corrections officer found guilty of sexual battery against inmate WCPO 9 Cincinnati 2025 Symposium on Women, Gender, Sexuality and Technologies--CfP deadline | Events | RIT Rochester Institute of Technology Feds probing into claims of sexual misconduct, gross overtime as highest-ranking NYPD cop resigns NBC New York Sexual activity among older teens is down; half suffer emotional abuse, says Summit County youth survey cleveland.com Miami Broker Turns Himself In to Face Sexual Battery Charge The New York Times U.S. Agrees to Pay $116 Million to Settle Sexual Abuse Claims at California Prison The New York Times ‘Wicked’ Movie Writer Reacts to Elphaba & Glinda Sexuality Speculation, Denies Fan Theory Just Jared The importance of human sexuality in counseling American Counseling Association Missing Navy JROTC instructor wanted for sexual assault still on the run, Henry County police say Atlanta News First How Do You Maintain Sexual Health After 50? National Council on Aging US to pay nearly $116M to settle lawsuits over rampant sexual abuse at Dublin, California women's prison ABC7 Bay Area Researchers explain social media’s role in rapidly shifting social norms on gender and sexuality UC Santa Cruz On The Intersection Of Criminology & Sexuality Pacific University Georgia teacher held on all charges for alleged online sexual relationship with Lycoming County teen Williamsport Sun-Gazette Comprehensive sexuality education UNFPA News Former Hudson doctor found guilty of rape, sexual battery Akron Beacon Journal Ex-Police Chief Who Sexually Assaulted 17-Year-Old Gets 25 Years in Prison The New York Times Jennifer Lopez drawn into $400 million sexual assault lawsuit against Sean Diddy Combs: Here's what we kn The Times of India Friend of Alexander real estate brothers surrenders in sexual assault case The Associated Press Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Blake Lively Sues It Ends With Us Co-Star Justin Baldoni For Sexual Harassment, His Team Responds NDTV Movies Blake Lively Files Sexual Harassment Complaint Against 'It Ends With Us' Costar Justin Baldoni TheWrap Louisiana Legislature passes bill restricting discussion of gender and sexuality Louisana Illuminator Lizzo 'blindsided' by sexual harassment lawsuit: 'These were people that I gave opportunities to' Page Six Blake Lively accuses It Ends With Us co-star Justin Baldoni of sexual harassment in legal complaint Sky News |
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