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Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy
Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax. The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime. Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered. Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry. Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades. Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.” Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you. Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so. Susan Hoskins For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES: BedPost: Porn harms the female sexuality thepostathens.com Sexual Health Center Erie County (.gov) Jared Leto Accused of Sexual Misconduct by Multiple Women: "An Open Secret for a Long Time" Consequence of Sound Rulings Near on Sexuality Cases Assemblies of God (USA) I Was Super Into My Husband’s New Sexual Fixation. Then His Co-Worker Got Involved. - Slate Magazine Jared Leto denies sexual misconduct allegations from multiple women, some who say they were underage Entertainment Weekly Ask a Cleveland Sex Therapist: Sexual vs Romantic Compatibility: Which One is More Important? Cleveland Scene Andrew Cuomo Was Contrite About His Sexual Harassment Scandal. Not Anymore. The New York Times "It's virtually exploded": Children's Advocacy Center sheds light on child sexual exploitation Local 3 News Museum: Artifact shows playful, serious sides of 19th-century sexual health and attitudes The Jerusalem Post Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s daughter Gracie opens up about her sexuality and clarifies ‘clickbait’ headlines Yahoo Life UK Tim McGraw + Faith Hill’s Daughter Gracie Clarifies Her Sexuality, Slams ‘Clickbait’ Taste of Country Massage therapist accused of sexually assaulting clients inside El Portal home - NBC 6 South Florida Massage therapist accused of sexually assaulting clients inside El Portal home NBC 6 South Florida SCOTUS Sides With Straight Woman in Sexuality Discrimination Case The New Republic Bishop Martyn Snow steps down as lead for Church of England sexuality process Premier Christian News SAPD investigates sexual hazing at Central Catholic High School San Antonio Report Deerfield Academy reaches settlement with sexual abuse victim Greenfield Recorder Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) World Health Organization (WHO) Police consider whether 'King of the Hill' actor's sexual orientation played a role in his killing ABC News Tim McGraw’s Daughter Gracie Clarifies Sexuality: ‘I’ve Been an Out and Proud Queer, Bisexual Woman’ Us Weekly Fired GCMS teacher/coach arrested on sexual-abuse charges The News-Gazette Former Indiana team doctor accused of sexual misconduct by at least 15 men's basketball players Yahoo Sports Police: Clarion man targeted by 814 Pred Hunters sexually abused child in Punxsy The Punxsutawney Spirit Former DC Talk frontman accused of sexual assault and grooming Premier Christian News Kissimmee Man Arrested for Child Sexual Abuse Material and Drug Possession, Sheriff's Office Says Positively Osceola Your women’s, gender and sexuality studies degree isn’t useless — it’s essential to maintaining democracy The Tufts Daily Former Wyoming Seminary assistant girls wrestling coach charged with sexual assault WVIA Public Media Jonathan Joss: Police Are Investigating Actor’s Sexual Orientation as Motive in His Killing Rolling Stone Teen charged in connection with abduction, sexual assault of 12-year-old girl in Philadelphia CBS News Wander Franco's sexual abuse trial begins in Dominican Republic FOX 13 Tampa Bay Vice President of Intercollegiate Athletics at TSU on administrative leave amid sexual assault allegations FOX 26 Houston Men’s Sexual Health: 5 Things You Need to Know Mass General Brigham Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center New Prague man sentenced to 72 years for sexually abusing 2 children 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS Teen groped in Central Park after being asked if he was ‘sexual’ New York Daily News Identity Project provides clarity on gender and sexuality Kentucky Today From sex and sexuality to contraception and consent; it’s all up for discussion on new series, Ar Led Nation.Cymru Judge orders woman who accused ex-Dodgers pitcher Trevor Bauer of sexual assault to pay damages by default Los Angeles Times |
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