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Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy
Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax. The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime. Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered. Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry. Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades. Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.” Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you. Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so. Susan Hoskins For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES: How do psychedelics affect sexuality and intimacy? futurity.org A moment that changed me: I used a pseudonym on a dating app - and started exploring my sexuality The Guardian Psychedelics May Enhance Intimacy, Attraction, and Sexual Expression Neuroscience News Age, education linked to sexual dysfunction in women with MS Multiple Sclerosis News Today Can luxury sell sexual wellness? Vogue Business Why is a woman’s sexuality so controversial? The Commonwealth Times Exclusive: ICC prosecutor Khan accused of retaliation for sexual misconduct allegation, sources say Reuters ICC prosecutor facing accusations of retaliation over sexual misconduct claim The Times of Israel 2 Pasadena Police Department lieutenants allege sexual harassment by Chief Eugene Harris ABC7 Los Angeles Gender and Sexuality Resource Center unveils new home northernstar.info US bans government personnel in China from romantic or sexual relations with Chinese citizens AP News Democrats, school advocates continue pushback against ‘redundant’ human sexuality bill News From The States High school student group holds sexual violence vigil, calls for Cambridge councilor to resign Boston.com Montgomery County man charged with possessing child sexual abuse material: officials FOX 29 Philadelphia Pivotal Study Confirms eSense as Effective Digital Program for Women’s Sexual Health - Yahoo Finance From the Magazine: Sexual Healing Boca Raton Magazine Bloomington man accused of sexual assault involving past romantic interest hometownsource.com David Archuleta on his sexuality: 'It is time to close the door of feeling ashamed and sorry' GMA Network Wildwood man arrested, accused of sexually assaulting a child several times NBC10 Philadelphia US bans romantic and sexual relationships with Chinese citizens for government employees in China WFIN Special education teacher accused of sexually assaulting 15-year-old boy during tutoring session https://www.wilx.com Neuqua Valley HS teacher charged with having sexual contact with student, Naperville police say Chicago Tribune What’s Really Happening During ‘Squirting’? A Deep Dive into the Science Scientific American Lawmakers look to provide immunity in reporting a sexual assault where drugs are involved Magnolia Tribune U.S. government imposes ban on romantic and sexual relationships between personnel and Chinese citizens Dimsum Daily ‘Communication between parents, children on sexuality low’: Study The New Indian Express Midland woman charged with sexual conduct involving 17-year-old Midland Daily News N.Y.C. Cannabis Boss Resigns Amid Sexual Harassment Investigation The New York Times Two Jackson Hole nurses start sexual health nonprofit JHNewsAndGuide.com Deer Park church pastor faces backlash after attacking sexuality of DPISD superintendent finalist Houston Public Media US bans gov’t staff in China and Hong Kong from romantic or sexual relations with Chinese citizens – report Hong Kong Free Press Ex-Somers coach police say sexually assaulted student had a search history with 'sexting laws' CT Insider Unlock the Magic of Eli Jae’s “Sexual Healing” Single Bong Mines Entertainment A MN Teacher of the Year is accused of sexual abuse. It’s not the first time. FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul SNAP complaint against top cardinal involves priest defrocked for sexual misconduct Crux | Taking the Catholic Pulse Middletown man pleads guilty to sexually exploiting toddler on Snapchat Hamilton In-depth, Investigative News from Journal-News Israeli said arrested in Thailand after Finnish tourist alleges sexual assault - The Times of Israel Israeli said arrested in Thailand after Finnish tourist alleges sexual assault The Times of Israel PRESS RELEASE: Indian-national in Edmond sentenced to 35 years for sexually extorting minors online Oklahoma City Free Press WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? Christianity Today Former Edgar County teacher arrested on sexual assault charges The Prairie Press Florida influencer charged after posting video of alleged sex act with pet dog, sheriff says CBS News Air Force Academy football player facing sexual assault charge Colorado Springs Gazette Staff | Center for Women, Gender & Sexuality | Student Affairs UMass Dartmouth US: Indian national sentenced to 35 years in prison for sexual exploitation of minors, child pornography Deccan Herald Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times Ex-Johnston County chorus teacher accused of more sex crimes with 17-year-old Raleigh News & Observer Executive Order Targets Prohibitions Against Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression Discrimination Littler Mendelson P.C. |
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