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Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy
Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax. The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime. Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered. Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry. Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades. Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.” Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you. Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so. Susan Hoskins For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES: 'On Swift Horses' director says Daisy Edgar-Jones' bond with Jacob Elordi 'transcends sexuality' Entertainment Weekly JoJo Siwa Clarifies Her Sexuality on 'Celebrity Big Brother' Weeks After Mickey Rourke's Exit People.com JoJo Siwa says 'she's no longer a lesbian' as she shares sexuality update on Celebrity Big Brother Heart ‘Spring Awakening’ provides a mirror into society's treatment of teenage sexuality The Daily Cardinal Human sexuality instruction bill heads to governor — without consent repeal Indiana Public Media European rights court finds France failed to protect child victims of sexual assault JURIST Legal News Portland teacher who was sexually harassed by middle school boys settles lawsuit for $300K OregonLive.com Authorities warn Sonoma County barn owners after man makes sexually suggestive comment about child The Press Democrat Ravens draft Marshall edge rusher Mike Green, a polarizing talent The Baltimore Banner Jojo Siwa's partner Kath opened up about sexuality as Jojo declared she's 'not a lesbian' on CBB LADbible The Texas Legislature is having big battles over gender and sexuality. Track them here. The Texas Tribune St. Augustine and the Beach recognize April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month - St. Augustine Record St. Augustine and the Beach recognize April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month St. Augustine Record Rufus King teacher charged with sexual misconduct, harassing students FOX6 News Milwaukee Pa. man, 22, wanted in relation to alleged sexual assault of 12-year-old Pine Hill girl Courier-Post Fairfield Central High School band director arrested on sexual battery charge, sheriff's office says WLTX Park City man faces 10 felony charges for possessing child sexual abuse material TownLift, Park City News Judge declares mistrial in Hockey Canada sexual assault case Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Modern Love: Monogamy as sexual orientation Aspen Daily News Former Hennepin County judge reprimanded for pattern of sexual harassment, relationship with clerk Star Tribune Creep Indiana pol learns his fate for sick sexual assault on his own daughter on nightmare 21st birthday trip to Vegas New York Post Democrats, school advocates continue pushback against ‘redundant’ human sexuality bill Indiana Capital Chronicle Montgomery man, 84, accused of sexually assaulting minors, now faces 127-count indictment Shaw Local Man convicted of kidnapping, sexual assault who skipped out on trial dies in San Antonio 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS Man travels from Texas to Arizona to sexually abuse 12-year-old for hours, feds say - Sacramento Bee Dance Moms star JoJo Siwa finds the truth about her sexuality, says ‘I'm not a lesbian’ Hindustan Times WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center LLCC showcases Sexual Assault Survivor exhibit The Breeze-Courier The Unusual Epistle that Helps Me Counsel on Sexuality Christianity Today Reflecting on sexuality through female artists The Bowdoin Orient Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? Christianity Today What Is JoJo Siwa’s Sexuality? Singer Makes It Clear On Celebrity Big Brother: I Am Not A Lesbian Newsx Cardington man indicted on 41 counts in connection with pandering sexually-oriented materials involving minors Richland Source Executive Order Targets Prohibitions Against Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression Discrimination Littler Mendelson P.C. Doctors or Sexual Predators? Jakarta Globe Public Safety Alert, Sexual Assault/Distraction Theft Investigation, Scarborough area, Images Released Toronto Police Service Jaime Campos sentenced to prison for sexually abusing teen that resulted in pregnancy East Idaho News Staff | Center for Women, Gender & Sexuality | Student Affairs UMass Dartmouth Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times Sexual Health Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center The importance of human sexuality in counseling www.counseling.org Comprehensive sexuality education unfpa.org JoJo Siwa makes sexuality confession amid ‘flirty’ Chris Hughes friendship as partner 'disappears' GB News UF SG started a Gender and Sexuality Protection agency. What’s next? The Independent Florida Alligator National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, 2025 The White House (.gov) |
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