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Accepting and Embracing Your Sexual Self
What are you hiding? C'mon?you know you're hiding something. Is it that you like anal sex??That you like to have sex with women and men alike?? That you are dominant??That you like to be tied-up? What is it? C'mon, you can tell me. It's just between the two of us. I won't tell anyone - and you'll feel better if you tell someone! Don't believe me? Find a person that you feel is non-judgmental and that you can trust. Tell them, and see for yourself. What? You say that's easier said than done? What if someone SEEMS non-judgmental, and you think you can trust them, but then you're wrong. You certainly won't be feeling much better when your secret is out. You know, you're right. But you know what else? Interestingly, more than likely that person who would be talking about your thing, HAS THEIR VERY OWN THING, TOO?and they keep it just as tightly wrapped up as yours. They, too, wonder what others might think?wonder if they're a bad person, or if something is wrong with them because their interest isn't in the mainstream of the conservative, "OK" sexual realm. All the while, though, they have a sense of guilty enjoyment from the pleasure that draws them to do it in the first place. The thing is, though, that while they're off talking about another's thing, they keep attention away from they own, and they are SURE TO LET OTHERS KNOW THAT THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT. Funny how we human beings are, covering parts of ourselves that we actually have in common with others, but don't know it because we're too busy hiding it. I'd be willing to bet there may even be atleast one person who would read this and say, "Not me! I'm not hiding anything!" If that is you, you might want to consider if you are denying a part of yourself because you feel that it's wrong to have the interest/desire/feeling that you have. So, truly you aren't really hiding it, but rather just denying it?all the while you ARE IT! Interesting, don'tja think? Now, of course, I could be off base here. My experience is what I have come to base my thoughts on. It seems to me that sex and sexual matters are the last taboo in our society. It is the one thing that is not supposed to be "out there" for public consumption. As a pleasurable activity, some would say it isn't even supposed to be there for private consumption. It is one of those things that is being pushed down, pushed aside, covered up, while all the time still living quite a fertile life. Has anyone considered that the more it's covered up and hidden, the more it is made the thing that shouldn't be done, the more likely some will want to do it, or try it? Ever do something that you weren't supposed to be allowed to do - and then wonder what the charge was? Or perhaps you went the other way?you got a big charge out of it because you were doing something you weren't supposed to do? Think about this. People have sex in their office or an elevator, or in other "off limits" places because they're "off limits." It probably wasn't until someone said; "No, this is not acceptable" that couples lined up and said, "Let's have sex HERE!" I wonder how many people would be having sex in these types of places if suddenly anyone could do it anywhere. Now, before you think I support having sex anywhere, let me say, given how things have been, if suddenly it was OK, I would imagine for awhile people would be doing it just about anywhere. But, I would also imagine that the reaction would wear off after a time, and people would cease to do it JUST BECAUSE THEY COULD, but rather because they wanted to. Maybe there would even be a reversion to "let's just do this for us" behind closed doors. Oftentimes, I think people REACT vs. ACT. They don't realize it at the time. But the minute someone says they can't do something - they NEED to do that very same thing. There's an expression what you resist, PERSISTS. If we as a society resist certain sexual behaviors, they will likely continue on a larger scale than those who are vocal about it would like. On a more personal level, resisting a part of who you are - or think you could be - will only have that part of you continue to haunt and taunt you. Allow it, and you may find that the driving power it seemed to have diminishing, and you'll be free to be or not to be, to do or not to do, and no longer be at its mercy. I realize, again, that this may just sound a little too easy of a solution, while it feels to you to be quite a difficult thing to allow. However, I have had many conversations with people regarding these types of things, and once they released themselves from another's restraints (opinions and judgments), they found relief. Given the nature of what I have written, I feel compelled to speak to the following: as long as humans continue to make judgments about what they think is "wrong", "right", "good", "bad", there will always be a diversity of opinions on the assessments of another, based on another's relative experience. For that reason, someone can always find a way to justify their own behavior. This article was written with the greatest of respect for people and their sexual nature. It was not intended in any way to promote any sexual behavior or tendencies. Since I care a great deal for others, it is my belief that it is important for us to be true to ourselves, but not to the detriment of another. What has been written here was written in this context, and it is my desire that a person reading this, who has been fighting aspects of their sexual persona, has been provided a prospective that provides an alternative to their current experience. Essa has a varied, non-judgmental, and fun approach to the work she does as a StressBusterBuddy. She works primarily with individuals on a one-on-one basis, and is the Author and Publisher of a mindful meditation CD. To learn more about Essa, her CD, or to listen to her online recordings, visit http://www.StopKickingYourself.com/or call 212.560.7582 (where you can also hear a 3-minute Relieve Stress Recording - only local, toll, or long distance charges apply).
MORE RESOURCES: RHOBH's Kyle Richards Shares Journey of Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Media Scrutiny - E! Online E! NEWS 'RHOBH' Star Kyle Richards Opens Up About Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Mauricio Umansky Separation Yahoo Entertainment What is demisexuality? I’m a Celebrity star Tulisa Contostavlos reveals her sexuality; know all about it Hindustan Times Why Tulisa no longer has sexual intercourse after announcing she's demisexual in I'm A Celeb episode LADbible Police Report Offers Graphic Details of Sexual Assault Claim Against Hegseth The New York Times Parents in Massachusetts School District Can’t Opt Out of ‘Sexuality,’ ‘Gender Identity’ Lessons The Lion 'Strange logic' surrounding sexuality & rape: If husband's needs are fulfilled 'this won't happen' FRANCE 24 English Lawsuit alleges IHOPKC failed to act when minor was sexually harassed, bullied at retreat Kansas City Star Police records reveal new details about sexual assault allegation against Pete Hegseth The Washington Post 'RHOBH' Star Kyle Richards Opens Up About Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Mauricio Umansky Separation Women's Health Kyle Richards’ Sexuality: Everything the ‘RHOBH’ Star Has Said Amid Mauricio Separation Life&Style Weekly Urologist Who Sexually Abused Patients Is Sentenced to Life in Prison The New York Times Hamilton business owner admits to sexual assault of 19-year-old Hamilton Journal News A Dickinson County Man to Stand Trial on Charges of Criminal Sexual Conduct Against Two Minors Bay Cities Radio The Gendered Battle Over Digital Sexual Abuse in South Korea New Lines Magazine Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Alcohol and sexual assault on college campuses: What is KU doing for prevention? The University Daily Kansan Romanesque churches’ explicitly sexual carvings were ‘the nobility’s political propaganda’ EL PAÍS USA Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Alan Jones, Former Australian Shock Jock, Charged With Sexual Abuse The New York Times Trump’s Latest Cabinet Pick Is Also Mired in a Sexual Abuse Scandal The New Republic 'American Idol' Star Clay Aiken Bizarrely Brings Up Shawn Mendes' Sexuality During Interview Wide Open Country Arsenal fans’ open letter to club over sexual violence concerns attracts 7,300 signatures The Athletic ‘For the very first time I really enjoyed sex!’ − how lesbian escort agencies became a form of self-care in Japan The Conversation A week in France - Le Pen's fake jobs trial, Major shifts in sexuality over the last decade, and Notre-Dame FRANCE 24 English Leacock Township man will spend at least a year in county prison for sexually assaulting teenager LNP | LancasterOnline Senator wants info on inspectors general office sexual harassment settlements - Government Executive Senator wants info on inspectors general office sexual harassment settlements Government Executive Defense pick Hegseth paid accuser but denies sexual assault, attorney says The Washington Post What is demisexuality, a lesser-known sexual orientation that everyone is talking about? - Firstpost Shocking video shows doctor walking around nude, performing sexual act in front of workers Arizona's Family Shawn Mendes Said He Chose To Publicly Discuss His Sexuality Last Month Because He Wants To Live His “Authentic Truth” Yahoo Entertainment Trump Stands by Defense Pick Who Says Encounter With Woman Was Not Sexual Assault The New York Times Sexual harassment lawsuit filed against Lexington rental property owner, manager LEX 18 News - Lexington, KY Cincinnati doctor under investigation by State Medical Board for alleged sexual misconduct WLWT Cincinnati Shawn Mendes opens up onstage about his sexuality: ‘I’m just figuring it out like everyone’ Los Angeles Times On The Intersection Of Criminology & Sexuality Pacific University Las Vegas man accused of sexually harassing 17-year-old waitress in Cedar City restaurant - ABC4.com Orange County choir teacher arrested for alleged sexual relations with teenage student CBS Los Angeles What Is Demisexuality? Im A Celebrity Fame Tulisa Contostavlos Opens Up About Her Sexual Identity Free Press Journal Commissioner’s daughter steps forward as the woman he sexually assaulted in Las Vegas Greenfield Daily Reporter |
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