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Mindfulness and Being Gay: On Sexuality and Happiness
When I was growing up in the tiny town of Gaston, Oregon (population: 325), there was a week-long festival in the "big" town of Forest Grove six miles away. It was called the "Gay Nineties" and featured a parade with townspeople wearing clothing from the late 1800s. There was plenty of ice cream, a petting zoo, an imported carnival in the shopping center parking lot, and a dunking booth populated by local teachers and business owners. Back in the 70s, this was seen as the highlight of the year for kids in my town. Sure, we had the Gaston Good 'Ol Days parade, and we were guaranteed a spot by simply showing up with our favorite farm animal, but it was not nearly as elaborate as the Gay Nineties. After all, Forest Grove had over 10,000 people, so their events were much more exciting than ours. They had a marching band and a queen! I went out of state to attend college in 1978, traveled around the world during my senior year in 1982, and when I came back to Gaston for a visit after graduation, I wasn't too surprised to learn that the Gay Nineties had been discontinued. You see, "gay" was no longer a word that meant "happy"--it was a word that meant homosexual. Gay Nineties was no longer considered an appropriate name for a town's annual festival. I moved to Japan, met my wonderful husband-to-be, and after our wedding, we spent time in Palm Springs. My aunt Linda, a divorcee, lived in a charming cottage there and gave us the scoop on her new city. Unimpressed by the pool of eligible males, she told us that Palm Springs was referred to as the Gay Nineties--because all the men were either gay or in their nineties! In 1988, my half-brother Dennis, a brilliant ex-Foreign Service official and executive director of an international business council, called to tell me that he had been fired by the board for marching in Chicago's Gay Pride parade. An openly gay man, he was stunned that his good work could be viewed as less important than his expression of pride in his sexual identity. He moved to San Francisco, became a high school history teacher, and shortly thereafter, became ill. He was diagnosed with AIDS, and died within a year. During the 90s, my father--who announced he was homosexual back in 1964, his dumbfounded Mormon wife forced to pack up the three preschoolers to go live with her parents--would vent hostility at the mere mention of the word "gay." Never one to speak honestly about his own sexuality to his children despite the fact that it was stunningly obvious, he felt the word "gay" was somehow demoralizing. In 2003, my younger brother Lynn, who had struggled mightily since the age of three with depression and an overpowering sense that he was not who he was, took his own life. He had been in counseling to find the courage to explore and embrace the seemingly shameful but unshakable notion that he had been meant to live as a woman. It didn't take. I never miss the Gay Pride parade here in Portland. Every year, it's held on Father's Day. It is a joyful celebration of diversity and acceptance in all shapes, sizes, colors and preferences. I see a little bit of my loved ones there. It bears absolutely no resemblance to the Gay Nineties parade of my youth. There may be petting, but no farm animals. It is raucous, bawdy, bittersweet, and full of tremendous affection and humor. There are wild costumes and vivid colors accented by throbbing music and boisterous dancing. In short, it is gay--in every sense of the word. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches creative and powerful eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com
MORE RESOURCES: Why ‘sexual inconsistency’ can make unhappy relationships The Conversation ‘Fame is a drug like LSD’: Robbie Williams on success, sexuality and his simian movie alter ego The Guardian Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times University of Iowa announces plans to close Gender, Women's, and Sexuality Studies department Fox News UI planning to close departments of Gender, Women’s and Sexuality Studies; American Studies The Gazette How to talk to neurodiverse kids about sex Seattle's Child Ex-manager of Leesburg business admits to sexually assaulting juvenile employee Loudoun Times-Mirror Chris Brown Files $500 Million Suit Against Warner Bros. Over Sexual Assault Allegations in Doc Rolling Stone Sexual Identity Is More Fluid han Previously Thought FlaglerLive.com Coast Guard commandant fired over operational failures, response to sexual assault cover-up Stars and Stripes Chris Brown Sues Warner Bros Discovery for Defamation Over Documentary Hollywood Reporter Jury begins deliberating in trial of former YDC counselor charged with sexually assaulting teenager WMUR Manchester Dalrymple to lead ongoing SBC sexual abuse response The Baptist Paper Top headlines: New leadership for SBC sexual abuse response; CA wildfire relief; Trump returns to White House; and more Alabama Baptist Justin Baldoni shares on-set ‘It Ends With Us’ footage to counter Blake Lively’s sexual harassment claims New York Post Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Mercer Island man sentenced for in-flight sexual assault The Seattle Times Florida men's basketball assistant accused of sexual assault in Title IX complaint will continue to be with team Yahoo Sports What is Comprehensive Sexuality Education? GMA News Online Sexual Abuse Is NOT Charitable Justia Verdict Mercer Island man sentenced to 10 years for sexual abuse of teen on Seattle-bound flight - KOMO News Broad museum hit with discrimination and sexual harassment lawsuit Los Angeles Times Janet Mills pardoned a man she defended in a sexual assault case Bangor Daily News Chemical signals and social structures strengthen sexual isolation in Drosophila pseudoobscura Nature.com Twin Cities nurse stripped of license, sued for sexual relationship with paraplegic client Star Tribune Boston doctor accused of sexual abuse by more than 200 former patients is indicted on rape charges GBH News Unhappy with your date? Study reveals how your sexuality may lower relationship satisfaction Hindustan Times Comprehensive sexuality education UNFPA News Northern Colorado teacher facing sexual assault charge, police say there may be more victims CBS News Lawsuit alleges female workers were harassed at Detroit Stellantis complex, federal agency says CBS News The importance of human sexuality in counseling American Counseling Association A horrifying child sexual assault trend. SCOTUS can help The Christian Post Former Yorkville doctor receives 37 year prison sentence for criminal sexual assault of a minor Shaw Local Laura Caron arrested: Middle Township Elementary School teacher accused of having sexual relationship and baby with student 6ABC Philadelphia Researchers explain social media’s role in rapidly shifting social norms on gender and sexuality UC Santa Cruz Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Florida high school football coach arrested for sexual activity with a minor, police say FirstCoastNews.com WTLV-WJXX UK backs local inquiries into child sexual abuse gangs after Musk stoked controversy The Associated Press Teacher charged with allegedly sexually assaulting former student, having his child WGHP FOX8 Greensboro Upper Body Strength Predicts Sexual Partner Count in Men and Women Neuroscience News US Catholics paid more than $5 billion for allegations of sexual abuse of minors over 20 years: study The Christian Post Wayne County Man Accused of Sexually Abusing a Child 8 Years Ago Finger Lakes Daily News Louisiana Legislature passes bill restricting discussion of gender and sexuality Louisana Illuminator ‘She screamed stop’: Mass. doctor accused of sexually assaulting patients arraigned on rape charges Boston 25 News Davenport man arrested; accused of sexual abuse, incest WHBF - OurQuadCities.com Your handshake might determine if you will have long-term relationships, more sexual partners: Study Hindustan Times 2025 Symposium on Women, Gender, Sexuality and Technologies--CfP deadline | Events | RIT Rochester Institute of Technology Robbie Williams on Sexuality Rumors: ‘You’ve Never Met Somebody That Wants to Be Gay as Much as Me’ Variety Holy Family Catholic Church Staff Member Edwin Valdez Arrested for Multiple Counts of Sexual Assault Against Minor in Sacramento Abuse Guardian Legal News |
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