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Mindfulness and Being Gay: On Sexuality and Happiness
When I was growing up in the tiny town of Gaston, Oregon (population: 325), there was a week-long festival in the "big" town of Forest Grove six miles away. It was called the "Gay Nineties" and featured a parade with townspeople wearing clothing from the late 1800s. There was plenty of ice cream, a petting zoo, an imported carnival in the shopping center parking lot, and a dunking booth populated by local teachers and business owners. Back in the 70s, this was seen as the highlight of the year for kids in my town. Sure, we had the Gaston Good 'Ol Days parade, and we were guaranteed a spot by simply showing up with our favorite farm animal, but it was not nearly as elaborate as the Gay Nineties. After all, Forest Grove had over 10,000 people, so their events were much more exciting than ours. They had a marching band and a queen! I went out of state to attend college in 1978, traveled around the world during my senior year in 1982, and when I came back to Gaston for a visit after graduation, I wasn't too surprised to learn that the Gay Nineties had been discontinued. You see, "gay" was no longer a word that meant "happy"--it was a word that meant homosexual. Gay Nineties was no longer considered an appropriate name for a town's annual festival. I moved to Japan, met my wonderful husband-to-be, and after our wedding, we spent time in Palm Springs. My aunt Linda, a divorcee, lived in a charming cottage there and gave us the scoop on her new city. Unimpressed by the pool of eligible males, she told us that Palm Springs was referred to as the Gay Nineties--because all the men were either gay or in their nineties! In 1988, my half-brother Dennis, a brilliant ex-Foreign Service official and executive director of an international business council, called to tell me that he had been fired by the board for marching in Chicago's Gay Pride parade. An openly gay man, he was stunned that his good work could be viewed as less important than his expression of pride in his sexual identity. He moved to San Francisco, became a high school history teacher, and shortly thereafter, became ill. He was diagnosed with AIDS, and died within a year. During the 90s, my father--who announced he was homosexual back in 1964, his dumbfounded Mormon wife forced to pack up the three preschoolers to go live with her parents--would vent hostility at the mere mention of the word "gay." Never one to speak honestly about his own sexuality to his children despite the fact that it was stunningly obvious, he felt the word "gay" was somehow demoralizing. In 2003, my younger brother Lynn, who had struggled mightily since the age of three with depression and an overpowering sense that he was not who he was, took his own life. He had been in counseling to find the courage to explore and embrace the seemingly shameful but unshakable notion that he had been meant to live as a woman. It didn't take. I never miss the Gay Pride parade here in Portland. Every year, it's held on Father's Day. It is a joyful celebration of diversity and acceptance in all shapes, sizes, colors and preferences. I see a little bit of my loved ones there. It bears absolutely no resemblance to the Gay Nineties parade of my youth. There may be petting, but no farm animals. It is raucous, bawdy, bittersweet, and full of tremendous affection and humor. There are wild costumes and vivid colors accented by throbbing music and boisterous dancing. In short, it is gay--in every sense of the word. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches creative and powerful eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com
MORE RESOURCES: 'On Swift Horses' director says Daisy Edgar-Jones' bond with Jacob Elordi 'transcends sexuality' Entertainment Weekly JoJo Siwa Clarifies Her Sexuality on 'Celebrity Big Brother' Weeks After Mickey Rourke's Exit People.com The Texas Legislature is having big battles over gender and sexuality. Track them here. The Texas Tribune ‘Spring Awakening’ provides a mirror into society's treatment of teenage sexuality The Daily Cardinal European rights court finds France failed to protect child victims of sexual assault JURIST Legal News Portland teacher who was sexually harassed by middle school boys settles lawsuit for $300K OregonLive.com Authorities warn Sonoma County barn owners after man makes sexually suggestive comment about child The Press Democrat Human sexuality instruction bill heads to governor — without consent repeal Indiana Public Media Ravens draft Marshall edge rusher Mike Green, a polarizing talent The Baltimore Banner Sexual assault, harassment up at CU Boulder Boulder Weekly Judge declares mistrial in Hockey Canada sexual assault case Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Former Hennepin County judge reprimanded for pattern of sexual harassment, relationship with clerk Star Tribune Fairfield Central High School band director arrested on sexual battery charge, sheriff's office says WLTX Jojo Siwa's partner Kath opened up about sexuality as Jojo declared she's 'not a lesbian' on CBB LADbible Creep Indiana pol learns his fate for sick sexual assault on his own daughter on nightmare 21st birthday trip to Vegas New York Post LLCC showcases Sexual Assault Survivor exhibit The Breeze-Courier Pa. man, 22, wanted in relation to alleged sexual assault of 12-year-old Pine Hill girl Courier-Post Park City man faces 10 felony charges for possessing child sexual abuse material TownLift, Park City News Cardington man indicted on 41 counts in connection with pandering sexually-oriented materials involving minors Richland Source Modern Love: Monogamy as sexual orientation Aspen Daily News Doctors or Sexual Predators? Jakarta Globe Montgomery man, 84, accused of sexually assaulting minors, now faces 127-count indictment Shaw Local Democrats, school advocates continue pushback against ‘redundant’ human sexuality bill Indiana Capital Chronicle Public Safety Alert, Sexual Assault/Distraction Theft Investigation, Scarborough area, Images Released Toronto Police Service Man travels from Texas to Arizona to sexually abuse 12-year-old for hours, feds say - Sacramento Bee AI images of child sexual abuse getting ‘significantly more realistic’, says watchdog - The Guardian Dance Moms star JoJo Siwa finds the truth about her sexuality, says ‘I'm not a lesbian’ Hindustan Times A moment that changed me: I used a pseudonym on a dating app - and started exploring my sexuality The Guardian WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center The Unusual Epistle that Helps Me Counsel on Sexuality Christianity Today Reflecting on sexuality through female artists The Bowdoin Orient What Is JoJo Siwa’s Sexuality? Singer Makes It Clear On Celebrity Big Brother: I Am Not A Lesbian Newsx Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? Christianity Today Jaime Campos sentenced to prison for sexually abusing teen that resulted in pregnancy East Idaho News Staff | Center for Women, Gender & Sexuality | Student Affairs UMass Dartmouth Let’s talk about sex: Exploring the psychology of human sexuality The Rocky Mountain Collegian Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times ‘Used unfettered power to sexually abuse women’: Harvey Weinstein’s rape retrial begins The Indian Express Bothell HS band teacher arrested for alleged sexual misconduct with former student - MyNorthwest.com Sexual Health Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center The importance of human sexuality in counseling www.counseling.org JoJo Siwa makes sexuality confession amid ‘flirty’ Chris Hughes friendship as partner 'disappears' GB News UF SG started a Gender and Sexuality Protection agency. What’s next? The Independent Florida Alligator National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, 2025 The White House (.gov) Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) Equity Work Group Rhode Island Department of Health (.gov) |
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