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The Real Cost of Premarital Sex
How can something that feels so good be so wrong? Isn't being in a committed relationship the same thing as being married? Many teenagers are faced with these questions when it comes to making the decision whether or not to have sex. It's kinda hard to say no when you are in love, engaged, attracted to or committed to someone. So why should you wait? Here are some reasons why: The Purpose of Sex Simply put, God's purpose for sex was so that human beings could have children. He gave us the commandment to 'be fruitful and multiply' (Genesis 1:22) and, as an extra bonus, he made sex pleasurable for both men and women. Men and women are uniquely designed to enjoy the sexual act with one another and a significant bonding occurs when a couple has sex. But the effect is not equal! Women feel one thing the morning after and men feel something entirely different. What Happens When You Have Sex One of the hormones released during sex is Oxytocin. Oxytocin causes a person to want to touch and be touched. Oxytocin also causes a person to become emotionally, physically and emotionally bonded to the person he or she has had sex with. So, both men and women feel close to their partner after sex, but men also produce the hormone vasopressin, which causes them to feel 'responsible' for the person they have had sex with. It's a good thing when that man is married, but not when he is single. The last thing most single men want to feel is 'responsible' for a woman they are casually dating. Sometimes, that that feeling of responsibility may drive the man away if he is not serious about the person he is dating. Because of these hormonal interactions, women usually feel more 'clingy' after sex and men seem more 'distant'. Teenage Pregnancy and STDs Here are some of the other potential downfalls to having premarital sex: In 2000, 84 out of every 1,000 females between the ages of 15-19 became pregnant. This is not to say that you do not want or would not take care of your child. But wouldn't want your child to be in a home with both parents, if at all possible? So, you can get pregnant or you could cause someone to be pregnant. Or, you could get a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). Here are some frightening statistics about STDs (From the Pure Intimacy Website): * Approximately 18.9 million new cases of STDs occur each year. * Forty-eight percent of new STD cases in 2000 were among 15- to 24-year-olds. * There are currently more than 25 types of STDs; some are curable, others are not. * In 2000, approximately 822,000 pregnancies occurred among 15- to 19-year-olds. * Seven out of ten adolescent mothers drop out of high school. God's Plan God created sex so that two people could take pleasure in the marriage experience. He created sex as the perfect bonding experience so that a couple could grow strong together, bond with one other and create a loving home environment for their children. When a couple has sex, they truly become 'one flesh', meaning that they are spiritually connected with each other. In the 1 Corinthians 6, we are reminded that you are joined as one flesh with whomever you have sex with. That chapter then goes on to say that all other sins are committed outside our body, but having sex outside of marriage is a sin against our own bodies! And you wouldn't want to hurt yourself, now would you? Remember - the act of sex causes a person to become physically, emotionally, and spiritually joined with every person he or she chooses to have sex with. No matter how good or bad he or she treated you, no matter if you still are friends with that person and no matter if you wish you had never met him or her - you are connected. So, the next time you are faced with the decision of whether or not to have sex, think about it carefully. Make a decision to honor and respect yourself and the person you are involved with by honoring God's word. Sonya C. Triggs is the Founder of Urban Christianz Ministries, which can be found at http://www.urbanchristianz.com Visit her website to find articles and advice about contemporary Christian issues such as dating, relationships and spiritual growth!
MORE RESOURCES: A moment that changed me: I used a pseudonym on a dating app - and started exploring my sexuality The Guardian How do psychedelics affect sexuality and intimacy? futurity.org Psychedelics May Enhance Intimacy, Attraction, and Sexual Expression Neuroscience News Can luxury sell sexual wellness? Vogue Business ‘Orgasms are a marvellous happiness’. Shere Hite gave voice to female sexuality in a landmark book – but the backlash was fierce The Conversation Why is a woman’s sexuality so controversial? The Commonwealth Times Democrats, school advocates continue pushback against ‘redundant’ human sexuality bill News From The States Wildwood man arrested, accused of sexually assaulting a child several times NBC10 Philadelphia US bans government personnel in China from romantic or sexual relations with Chinese citizens AP News David Archuleta on his sexuality: 'It is time to close the door of feeling ashamed and sorry' GMA Network High school student group holds sexual violence vigil, calls for Cambridge councilor to resign Boston.com Special education teacher accused of sexually assaulting 15-year-old boy during tutoring session KBTX News 3 Northwestern student group offers free 'Plan B Hotline' to advance 'healthy sexuality' Campus Reform Gender and Sexuality Resource Center unveils new home northernstar.info Midland woman charged with sexual conduct involving 17-year-old Midland Daily News OPINION: The “Femininomenon” of women’s sexuality in music The Red & Black Lawmakers look to provide immunity in reporting a sexual assault where drugs are involved Magnolia Tribune Berrien County Health Department promotes STI testing for Sexually Transmitted Infections Month Moody on the Market ‘Communication between parents, children on sexuality low’: Study The New Indian Express What’s Really Happening During ‘Squirting’? A Deep Dive into the Science Scientific American Two Jackson Hole nurses start sexual health nonprofit JHNewsAndGuide.com US: Indian national sentenced to 35 years in prison for sexual exploitation of minors, child pornography Deccan Herald Age, education linked to sexual dysfunction in women with MS Multiple Sclerosis News Today N.Y.C. Cannabis Boss Resigns Amid Sexual Harassment Investigation The New York Times SNAP complaint against top cardinal involves priest defrocked for sexual misconduct Crux | Taking the Catholic Pulse A MN Teacher of the Year is accused of sexual abuse. It’s not the first time. FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul Everman deputy fire chief, another man charged with sexual assault FOX 4 News Dallas-Fort Worth India national gets 35 years of jail in US for sexual exploitation of minors, child pornography India TV News Middletown man pleads guilty to sexually exploiting toddler on Snapchat Hamilton In-depth, Investigative News from Journal-News Deer Park church pastor faces backlash after attacking sexuality of DPISD superintendent finalist Houston Public Media Pastor attacks superintendent finalist’s sexuality in Texas. ‘Ungodly and immoral’ Fort Worth Star-Telegram Man accused of breaking into victim's North Austin home, then sexually assaulting and robbing them KVUE Israeli said arrested in Thailand after Finnish tourist alleges sexual assault - The Times of Israel Israeli said arrested in Thailand after Finnish tourist alleges sexual assault The Times of Israel PRESS RELEASE: Indian-national in Edmond sentenced to 35 years for sexually extorting minors online Oklahoma City Free Press Former El Paso Zoo employee files sexual harassment lawsuit against supervisor, zoo director El Paso Matters Sexual violence in the Church: the African taboo JusticeInfo.net Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? Christianity Today WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Medina dentist charged with solicitation, accused of trying to pay employee for sexual favors Cleveland 19 News Former Edgar County teacher arrested on sexual assault charges The Prairie Press Human Rights and Sexuality Education Protects Schools Human Rights Watch Air Force Academy football player facing sexual assault charge Colorado Springs Gazette Sexual Assault Lawsuit Against Diddy Dismissed After Anonymous Plaintiff Failed to Identify Herself Yahoo News New Zealand TPD: Undercover agents arrest Detroit man who travelled to Toledo for sexual relations with minors WTVG Ex-Johnston County chorus teacher accused of more sex crimes with 17-year-old Raleigh News & Observer Wood County Commission declares April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month mariettatimes.com Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times Let’s talk about sex: Exploring the psychology of human sexuality The Rocky Mountain Collegian DoD Report on Sexual Harassment and Violence at the Military Service Academies, Academic P U.S. Department of Defense (.gov) The importance of human sexuality in counseling www.counseling.org |
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