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Mindfulness and Sex: Right There, Right Now
Mindfulness is downright sexy. After all, what's hotter than a partner who is paying attention? Being Right There, fully in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets. So, it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that we don't really use the term "mindfulness" in relation to loving relationships--let alone love in the afternoon. This should be common, mainstream, slap-your-forehead-and-say-"Duh!" kind of knowledge. I don't pretend to be an expert on what goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive and give birth to four children within five years) but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment unless you are Right There in it. Oh, sure, it's possible to experience physical pleasure when your mind is on something--or someone--other than that which shares your sheets. But we're talking about meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls for Mindfulness with a capital M. It doesn't have to be tantric. You don't have to master every kama sutra position. It doesn't need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You don't even need any props or helpful devices. It can be your regular Tuesday night missionary position in your socks and still be ka-ZAM--if you're paying attention. Oh, and here's a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works? Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with the television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads. Not possible. By bringing mindfulness to the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on the same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you "what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else. The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart--and mind--into it. Now, that's sexy. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.Massageyourmind.com
MORE RESOURCES: Bill addressing sexuality content and parental notification in schools heading to Gov. DeWine's desk WTOL What, Exactly, Is Abrosexuality? Men's Health ‘Fame is a drug like LSD’: Robbie Williams on success, sexuality and his simian movie alter ego The Guardian Robbie Williams on Sexuality Rumors: ‘You’ve Never Met Somebody That Wants to Be Gay as Much as Me’ Variety ‘Sexuality is as individual as a fingerprint’: Daniel Craig and Luca Guadagnino on Queer The Guardian Yale Gender Studies Dept. to offer courses on Beyonce, Sex, "Friendships between Black Women and White Women," others Campus Reform I'm a sexologist, but talking about sex with my teenage sons is still awkward. These 7 things make it easier. Business Insider Bill that could force educators to out students' sexuality, gender identity heads to DeWine's desk WKYC.com Opinion | The Surprising Sexual Politics of Nicole Kidman’s Kinky ‘Babygirl’ The New York Times Heterosexual Women More Likely to Report Sexual Dysfunction During Menopause Managed Healthcare Executive Justin Baldoni dropped by his talent agency after Blake Lively's sexual harassment complaint Page Six The Trend This Oscar Season: Women Reclaiming Their Sexuality Hollywood Reporter Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com A once banned sexual activity in NY is now legal Olean Times Herald Blake Lively accuses director, co-star of 'It Ends with Us' of sexual harassment, smear campaign Los Angeles Times Justin Baldoni suffers first serious consequence following Blake Lively sexual harassment lawsuit Marca English Man Charged with Sexual Exploitation of a Minor Nashville.gov NYPD Chief of Department Jeffrey Maddrey resigns amid sexual misconduct allegations; Head of NYPD Internal Affairs removed ABC7 New York Former Hamilton County corrections officer found guilty of sexual battery against inmate WCPO 9 Cincinnati Feds probing into claims of sexual misconduct, gross overtime as highest-ranking NYPD cop resigns NBC New York Sexual activity among older teens is down; half suffer emotional abuse, says Summit County youth survey cleveland.com Miami Broker Turns Himself In to Face Sexual Battery Charge The New York Times U.S. Agrees to Pay $116 Million to Settle Sexual Abuse Claims at California Prison The New York Times ‘Wicked’ Movie Writer Reacts to Elphaba & Glinda Sexuality Speculation, Denies Fan Theory Just Jared The importance of human sexuality in counseling American Counseling Association Missing Navy JROTC instructor wanted for sexual assault still on the run, Henry County police say Atlanta News First How Do You Maintain Sexual Health After 50? National Council on Aging US to pay nearly $116M to settle lawsuits over rampant sexual abuse at Dublin, California women's prison ABC7 Bay Area Researchers explain social media’s role in rapidly shifting social norms on gender and sexuality UC Santa Cruz On The Intersection Of Criminology & Sexuality Pacific University Georgia teacher held on all charges for alleged online sexual relationship with Lycoming County teen Williamsport Sun-Gazette Comprehensive sexuality education UNFPA News Former Hudson doctor found guilty of rape, sexual battery Akron Beacon Journal Ex-Police Chief Who Sexually Assaulted 17-Year-Old Gets 25 Years in Prison The New York Times Friend of Alexander real estate brothers surrenders in sexual assault case The Associated Press Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Jennifer Lopez drawn into $400 million sexual assault lawsuit against Sean Diddy Combs: Here's what we kn The Times of India Blake Lively Sues It Ends With Us Co-Star Justin Baldoni For Sexual Harassment, His Team Responds NDTV Movies Blake Lively Files Sexual Harassment Complaint Against 'It Ends With Us' Costar Justin Baldoni TheWrap Louisiana Legislature passes bill restricting discussion of gender and sexuality Louisana Illuminator Blake Lively accuses It Ends With Us co-star Justin Baldoni of sexual harassment in legal complaint Sky News Lizzo 'blindsided' by sexual harassment lawsuit: 'These were people that I gave opportunities to' Page Six UF SG started a Gender and Sexuality Protection agency. What’s next? The Independent Florida Alligator Fatal Carjacking Assault; Man Sexually Abused Girl: LI Crime Roundup Huntington, NY Patch |
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