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Mindfulness and Sex: Right There, Right Now
Mindfulness is downright sexy. After all, what's hotter than a partner who is paying attention? Being Right There, fully in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets. So, it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that we don't really use the term "mindfulness" in relation to loving relationships--let alone love in the afternoon. This should be common, mainstream, slap-your-forehead-and-say-"Duh!" kind of knowledge. I don't pretend to be an expert on what goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive and give birth to four children within five years) but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment unless you are Right There in it. Oh, sure, it's possible to experience physical pleasure when your mind is on something--or someone--other than that which shares your sheets. But we're talking about meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls for Mindfulness with a capital M. It doesn't have to be tantric. You don't have to master every kama sutra position. It doesn't need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You don't even need any props or helpful devices. It can be your regular Tuesday night missionary position in your socks and still be ka-ZAM--if you're paying attention. Oh, and here's a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works? Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with the television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads. Not possible. By bringing mindfulness to the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on the same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you "what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else. The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart--and mind--into it. Now, that's sexy. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.Massageyourmind.com
MORE RESOURCES: Why ‘sexual inconsistency’ can make unhappy relationships The Conversation ‘Fame is a drug like LSD’: Robbie Williams on success, sexuality and his simian movie alter ego The Guardian Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times University of Iowa announces plans to close Gender, Women's, and Sexuality Studies department Fox News UI planning to close departments of Gender, Women’s and Sexuality Studies; American Studies The Gazette How to talk to neurodiverse kids about sex Seattle's Child Sexual Identity Is More Fluid han Previously Thought FlaglerLive.com Chris Brown Sues Warner Bros Discovery for Defamation Over Documentary Hollywood Reporter Coast Guard commandant fired over operational failures, response to sexual assault cover-up Stars and Stripes Chris Brown Files $500 Million Suit Against Warner Bros. Over Sexual Assault Allegations in Doc Rolling Stone Jury begins deliberating in trial of former YDC counselor charged with sexually assaulting teenager WMUR Manchester Dalrymple to lead ongoing SBC sexual abuse response The Baptist Paper Top headlines: New leadership for SBC sexual abuse response; CA wildfire relief; Trump returns to White House; and more Alabama Baptist Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Justin Baldoni shares on-set ‘It Ends With Us’ footage to counter Blake Lively’s sexual harassment claims New York Post Mercer Island man sentenced for in-flight sexual assault The Seattle Times Florida men's basketball assistant accused of sexual assault in Title IX complaint will continue to be with team Yahoo Sports Broad museum hit with discrimination and sexual harassment lawsuit Los Angeles Times Mercer Island man sentenced to 10 years for sexual abuse of teen on Seattle-bound flight - KOMO News What is Comprehensive Sexuality Education? GMA News Online Sexual Abuse Is NOT Charitable Justia Verdict Janet Mills pardoned a man she defended in a sexual assault case Bangor Daily News Chemical signals and social structures strengthen sexual isolation in Drosophila pseudoobscura Nature.com Twin Cities nurse stripped of license, sued for sexual relationship with paraplegic client Star Tribune Boston doctor accused of sexual abuse by more than 200 former patients is indicted on rape charges GBH News Comprehensive sexuality education UNFPA News Unhappy with your date? Study reveals how your sexuality may lower relationship satisfaction Hindustan Times Northern Colorado teacher facing sexual assault charge, police say there may be more victims CBS News Lawsuit alleges female workers were harassed at Detroit Stellantis complex, federal agency says CBS News The importance of human sexuality in counseling American Counseling Association A horrifying child sexual assault trend. SCOTUS can help The Christian Post Former Yorkville doctor receives 37 year prison sentence for criminal sexual assault of a minor Shaw Local Researchers explain social media’s role in rapidly shifting social norms on gender and sexuality UC Santa Cruz Laura Caron arrested: Middle Township Elementary School teacher accused of having sexual relationship and baby with student 6ABC Philadelphia Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Florida high school football coach arrested for sexual activity with a minor, police say FirstCoastNews.com WTLV-WJXX Teacher charged with allegedly sexually assaulting former student, having his child WGHP FOX8 Greensboro UK backs local inquiries into child sexual abuse gangs after Musk stoked controversy The Associated Press US Catholics paid more than $5 billion for allegations of sexual abuse of minors over 20 years: study The Christian Post Upper Body Strength Predicts Sexual Partner Count in Men and Women Neuroscience News Louisiana Legislature passes bill restricting discussion of gender and sexuality Louisana Illuminator Wayne County Man Accused of Sexually Abusing a Child 8 Years Ago Finger Lakes Daily News ‘She screamed stop’: Mass. doctor accused of sexually assaulting patients arraigned on rape charges Boston 25 News Davenport man arrested; accused of sexual abuse, incest WHBF - OurQuadCities.com 2025 Symposium on Women, Gender, Sexuality and Technologies--CfP deadline | Events | RIT Rochester Institute of Technology Robbie Williams on Sexuality Rumors: ‘You’ve Never Met Somebody That Wants to Be Gay as Much as Me’ Variety Holy Family Catholic Church Staff Member Edwin Valdez Arrested for Multiple Counts of Sexual Assault Against Minor in Sacramento Abuse Guardian Legal News |
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