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Mindfulness and Sex: Right There, Right Now
Mindfulness is downright sexy. After all, what's hotter than a partner who is paying attention? Being Right There, fully in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets. So, it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that we don't really use the term "mindfulness" in relation to loving relationships--let alone love in the afternoon. This should be common, mainstream, slap-your-forehead-and-say-"Duh!" kind of knowledge. I don't pretend to be an expert on what goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive and give birth to four children within five years) but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment unless you are Right There in it. Oh, sure, it's possible to experience physical pleasure when your mind is on something--or someone--other than that which shares your sheets. But we're talking about meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls for Mindfulness with a capital M. It doesn't have to be tantric. You don't have to master every kama sutra position. It doesn't need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You don't even need any props or helpful devices. It can be your regular Tuesday night missionary position in your socks and still be ka-ZAM--if you're paying attention. Oh, and here's a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works? Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with the television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads. Not possible. By bringing mindfulness to the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on the same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you "what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else. The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart--and mind--into it. Now, that's sexy. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.Massageyourmind.com
MORE RESOURCES: New Gender and Sexuality Resource Center website scrubbed of LGBTQ+ language, gender-affirming care resources The Daily Northwestern Swiss Billionaire Bankrolling Maine Dems, Maine Media Faces Sexual Harassment Lawsuit: Hansjörg Wyss The Maine Wire Judge OKs Iowa limits on K-6 gender identity, sexual orientation teaching but not elective programs ABC News Prosecutor Accused of Sexual Misconduct Takes Leave From International Court The New York Times Barry Diller opens up about his sexuality and marriage to Diane von Furstenberg in revealing memoir NBC News Cambridge Police Investigate Reported Sexual Assault in Harvard Square The Harvard Crimson Sexual Health Clinic Southern Nevada Health District Finding a path to language justice in sexual and reproductive health and rights World Health Organization (WHO) Bay Area ‘sex cult’ workers forced to service wealthy clients sexually: Witnesses Courthouse News Service Smokey Robinson is under criminal investigation after housekeepers accuse him of sexual assault NBC News Person sexually assaulted by 2 people in ski masks in Harvard Square, leaving residents on edge CBS News Richfield Middle School employee arrested amid allegations of sexual relationship with student FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul Bethany first selectman faces resignation calls after report finds mishandling of sexual abuse alleg WFSB Author Honor Jones on motherhood, sexual pleasure, and healing. Psychology Today Sexual Assault Prevention, Response Key Contributors to Military Readiness U.S. Department of Defense (.gov) This former teacher may have sexually abused more than 120 children FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul Gérard Depardieu Found Guilty of Sexual Assault The New York Times Smokey Robinson under criminal investigation after sexual assault allegations by ex-employees Los Angeles Times French actor Gérard Depardieu convicted, sentenced for sexually assaulting 2 women on film set CBS News John Reid imbroglio tests gender, sexuality and privacy standards in Virginia politics Virginia Mercury Redlands teacher arrested for allegedly sexually abusing child ABC7 Los Angeles Criminal investigation opened in rape and sexual assault allegations against Smokey Robinson AP News French actor Gérard Depardieu found guilty of sexual assault, given 18-month suspended sentence KTLA Your women’s, gender and sexuality studies degree isn’t useless — it’s essential to maintaining democracy The Tufts Daily WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center The Unusual Epistle that Helps Me Counsel on Sexuality Christianity Today Ex-model testifying that Harvey Weinstein sexually assaulted her questioned about private journal Spectrum News NY1 Top Sexual Assault Hotline RAINN Caves to Trump in Chilling Move The New Republic Suffolk DA: Ex-Lindenhurst school employee shared videos of himself sexually abusing child News 12 - Long Island JoJo Siwa Clarifies Her Sexuality on 'Celebrity Big Brother' Weeks After Mickey Rourke's Exit People.com Sean 'Diddy' Combs' sexual assault lawsuits: A timeline of alleged incidents, 1991 to 2024 USA Today Billionaire California winery owner sued for allegedly sexually harassing former employee San Francisco Chronicle Executive Order Targets Prohibitions Against Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression Discrimination Littler Mendelson P.C. Let’s talk about sex: Exploring the psychology of human sexuality The Rocky Mountain Collegian After a sometimes graphic debate, Texas House advances bill limiting kids’ access to sexually explicit books in libraries The Texas Tribune The surprising history of sex and sexuality in America Connecticut Public Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times Robbie Williams on Sexuality Rumors: ‘You’ve Never Met Somebody That Wants to Be Gay as Much as Me’ Variety Former Freedom for Youth Ministries employee charged with sexual abuse of 7-year-old - weareiowa.com |
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