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Mindfulness and Sex: Right There, Right Now
Mindfulness is downright sexy. After all, what's hotter than a partner who is paying attention? Being Right There, fully in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets. So, it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that we don't really use the term "mindfulness" in relation to loving relationships--let alone love in the afternoon. This should be common, mainstream, slap-your-forehead-and-say-"Duh!" kind of knowledge. I don't pretend to be an expert on what goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive and give birth to four children within five years) but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment unless you are Right There in it. Oh, sure, it's possible to experience physical pleasure when your mind is on something--or someone--other than that which shares your sheets. But we're talking about meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls for Mindfulness with a capital M. It doesn't have to be tantric. You don't have to master every kama sutra position. It doesn't need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You don't even need any props or helpful devices. It can be your regular Tuesday night missionary position in your socks and still be ka-ZAM--if you're paying attention. Oh, and here's a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works? Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with the television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads. Not possible. By bringing mindfulness to the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on the same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you "what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else. The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart--and mind--into it. Now, that's sexy. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.Massageyourmind.com
MORE RESOURCES: BedPost: Porn harms the female sexuality thepostathens.com Jared Leto Accused of Sexual Misconduct by Multiple Women: "An Open Secret for a Long Time" Consequence of Sound Rulings Near on Sexuality Cases Assemblies of God (USA) I Was Super Into My Husband’s New Sexual Fixation. Then His Co-Worker Got Involved. - Slate Magazine Jared Leto denies sexual misconduct allegations from multiple women, some who say they were underage Entertainment Weekly Ask a Cleveland Sex Therapist: Sexual vs Romantic Compatibility: Which One is More Important? Cleveland Scene Andrew Cuomo Was Contrite About His Sexual Harassment Scandal. Not Anymore. The New York Times "It's virtually exploded": Children's Advocacy Center sheds light on child sexual exploitation Local 3 News Museum: Artifact shows playful, serious sides of 19th-century sexual health and attitudes The Jerusalem Post Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s daughter Gracie opens up about her sexuality and clarifies ‘clickbait’ headlines Yahoo Life UK Tim McGraw + Faith Hill’s Daughter Gracie Clarifies Her Sexuality, Slams ‘Clickbait’ Taste of Country Massage therapist accused of sexually assaulting clients inside El Portal home - NBC 6 South Florida Massage therapist accused of sexually assaulting clients inside El Portal home NBC 6 South Florida SCOTUS Sides With Straight Woman in Sexuality Discrimination Case The New Republic Bishop Martyn Snow steps down as lead for Church of England sexuality process Premier Christian News SAPD investigates sexual hazing at Central Catholic High School San Antonio Report Deerfield Academy reaches settlement with sexual abuse victim Greenfield Recorder Police consider whether 'King of the Hill' actor's sexual orientation played a role in his killing ABC News Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) World Health Organization (WHO) Tim McGraw’s Daughter Gracie Clarifies Sexuality: ‘I’ve Been an Out and Proud Queer, Bisexual Woman’ Us Weekly Fired GCMS teacher/coach arrested on sexual-abuse charges The News-Gazette Former Indiana team doctor accused of sexual misconduct by at least 15 men's basketball players Yahoo Sports Police: Clarion man targeted by 814 Pred Hunters sexually abused child in Punxsy The Punxsutawney Spirit Former DC Talk frontman accused of sexual assault and grooming Premier Christian News Kissimmee Man Arrested for Child Sexual Abuse Material and Drug Possession, Sheriff's Office Says Positively Osceola Your women’s, gender and sexuality studies degree isn’t useless — it’s essential to maintaining democracy The Tufts Daily Former Wyoming Seminary assistant girls wrestling coach charged with sexual assault WVIA Public Media Jonathan Joss: Police Are Investigating Actor’s Sexual Orientation as Motive in His Killing Rolling Stone Teen charged in connection with abduction, sexual assault of 12-year-old girl in Philadelphia CBS News Wander Franco's sexual abuse trial begins in Dominican Republic FOX 13 Tampa Bay Vice President of Intercollegiate Athletics at TSU on administrative leave amid sexual assault allegations FOX 26 Houston Men’s Sexual Health: 5 Things You Need to Know Mass General Brigham Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center New Prague man sentenced to 72 years for sexually abusing 2 children 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS Teen groped in Central Park after being asked if he was ‘sexual’ New York Daily News Identity Project provides clarity on gender and sexuality Kentucky Today From sex and sexuality to contraception and consent; it’s all up for discussion on new series, Ar Led Nation.Cymru Judge orders woman who accused ex-Dodgers pitcher Trevor Bauer of sexual assault to pay damages by default Los Angeles Times Elon Musk deletes post claiming Trump’s name appears in sexual offender Jeffery Epstein files financialexpress.com Barry Diller opens up about his sexuality and marriage to Diane von Furstenberg in revealing memoir NBC News |
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