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Mindfulness and Sex: Right There, Right Now
Mindfulness is downright sexy. After all, what's hotter than a partner who is paying attention? Being Right There, fully in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets. So, it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that we don't really use the term "mindfulness" in relation to loving relationships--let alone love in the afternoon. This should be common, mainstream, slap-your-forehead-and-say-"Duh!" kind of knowledge. I don't pretend to be an expert on what goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive and give birth to four children within five years) but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment unless you are Right There in it. Oh, sure, it's possible to experience physical pleasure when your mind is on something--or someone--other than that which shares your sheets. But we're talking about meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls for Mindfulness with a capital M. It doesn't have to be tantric. You don't have to master every kama sutra position. It doesn't need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You don't even need any props or helpful devices. It can be your regular Tuesday night missionary position in your socks and still be ka-ZAM--if you're paying attention. Oh, and here's a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works? Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with the television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads. Not possible. By bringing mindfulness to the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on the same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you "what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else. The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart--and mind--into it. Now, that's sexy. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.Massageyourmind.com
MORE RESOURCES: 'On Swift Horses' director says Daisy Edgar-Jones' bond with Jacob Elordi 'transcends sexuality' Entertainment Weekly JoJo Siwa Clarifies Her Sexuality on 'Celebrity Big Brother' Weeks After Mickey Rourke's Exit People.com The Texas Legislature is having big battles over gender and sexuality. Track them here. The Texas Tribune ‘Spring Awakening’ provides a mirror into society's treatment of teenage sexuality The Daily Cardinal European rights court finds France failed to protect child victims of sexual assault JURIST Legal News Portland teacher who was sexually harassed by middle school boys settles lawsuit for $300K OregonLive.com Authorities warn Sonoma County barn owners after man makes sexually suggestive comment about child The Press Democrat Human sexuality instruction bill heads to governor — without consent repeal Indiana Public Media Ravens draft Marshall edge rusher Mike Green, a polarizing talent The Baltimore Banner Sexual assault, harassment up at CU Boulder Boulder Weekly Judge declares mistrial in Hockey Canada sexual assault case Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Former Hennepin County judge reprimanded for pattern of sexual harassment, relationship with clerk Star Tribune Fairfield Central High School band director arrested on sexual battery charge, sheriff's office says WLTX Jojo Siwa's partner Kath opened up about sexuality as Jojo declared she's 'not a lesbian' on CBB LADbible Creep Indiana pol learns his fate for sick sexual assault on his own daughter on nightmare 21st birthday trip to Vegas New York Post Pa. man, 22, wanted in relation to alleged sexual assault of 12-year-old Pine Hill girl Courier-Post LLCC showcases Sexual Assault Survivor exhibit The Breeze-Courier Park City man faces 10 felony charges for possessing child sexual abuse material TownLift, Park City News Cardington man indicted on 41 counts in connection with pandering sexually-oriented materials involving minors Richland Source Modern Love: Monogamy as sexual orientation Aspen Daily News Doctors or Sexual Predators? Jakarta Globe Public Safety Alert, Sexual Assault/Distraction Theft Investigation, Scarborough area, Images Released Toronto Police Service Montgomery man, 84, accused of sexually assaulting minors, now faces 127-count indictment Shaw Local Democrats, school advocates continue pushback against ‘redundant’ human sexuality bill Indiana Capital Chronicle Man travels from Texas to Arizona to sexually abuse 12-year-old for hours, feds say - Sacramento Bee AI images of child sexual abuse getting ‘significantly more realistic’, says watchdog - The Guardian Dance Moms star JoJo Siwa finds the truth about her sexuality, says ‘I'm not a lesbian’ Hindustan Times WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center The Unusual Epistle that Helps Me Counsel on Sexuality Christianity Today Reflecting on sexuality through female artists The Bowdoin Orient What Is JoJo Siwa’s Sexuality? Singer Makes It Clear On Celebrity Big Brother: I Am Not A Lesbian Newsx Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? Christianity Today Sexual Assault Response Plans Louisiana Department of Health (.gov) Staff | Center for Women, Gender & Sexuality | Student Affairs UMass Dartmouth Jaime Campos sentenced to prison for sexually abusing teen that resulted in pregnancy East Idaho News Let’s talk about sex: Exploring the psychology of human sexuality The Rocky Mountain Collegian Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times ‘Used unfettered power to sexually abuse women’: Harvey Weinstein’s rape retrial begins The Indian Express Bothell HS band teacher arrested for alleged sexual misconduct with former student - MyNorthwest.com Sexual Health Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center The importance of human sexuality in counseling www.counseling.org Comprehensive sexuality education unfpa.org JoJo Siwa makes sexuality confession amid ‘flirty’ Chris Hughes friendship as partner 'disappears' GB News UF SG started a Gender and Sexuality Protection agency. What’s next? The Independent Florida Alligator National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, 2025 The White House (.gov) Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) Equity Work Group Rhode Island Department of Health (.gov) |
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