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Sexuality Information | Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com |
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Why You have the Right to Choose to Think
Sexuality is a fundamental part of being human and alive. It is powerful, even in its distortion it carves our lives in the same way that flowing water engraves the planet. As we struggle to harness hydropower for its best use, so it is with our sexuality (in the best cases). This is not a result of some philosophical hiatus; it is the effect of day-to-day choices. So is it really so arduous to accept that thinking humans should view their choices around sexuality in a larger context? Take honor for instance. Honor and its sister Integrity are issues normally presented as side dishes on the buffet of religious dogma, untimely asides to the cornucopia associated with sexual bliss. I often wonder why this happens. Am I the only one who feels these issues are essential to an individual really being attractive enough to be considered sexy? To me, this means going beyond the (dehumanizing) objectification of persons towards (humanizing) evaluation, to place "sexiness" in a holistic framework. How can the presence or absence of the substances which make us really human be regarded as "irrelevant"? In my own experience with human services, I have witnessed levels of denial that boggle the mind. For me, the cold water in the face has been to see actions, even among health educators specializing in STD/HIV prevention, that totally contradict the prevention-based behaviors they advocate publicly. If love is what you do not what you say, then I hold that the same applies to who you are?and who you will be. Who we are is the result of accumulated choices. The right to choose for women, however, is usually thought of in terms of termination of pregnancy. Yet, the power of freedom to choose can serve us as women, but only if we view it in extended terms. The right to choose needs to begin with a number of fundamental issues that we really think about. This should mean thinking in searching ways about partner selection and thinking about consequences, irrespective of the socially hyped up emphasis on sexuality as being only about "feeling", an emphasis that makes us ignore the effects of sexual stimulation and feeling with regard to, for example, integrity, procreation, or STD transmission. The right to choose in the sexual arena begins with partner selection, and whether there will be one at all. The reality that between 34-46 million people are living with HIV/AIDS indicates the truth about people's choices, despite what many would claim about how they live and who they are. Globally there were between 4.2-5.8 million people newly infected in 2003, so there are definitely some people to whom what I am discussing here is very relevant. Among my friends, one of the consistent patterns I have witnessed in their relationships is the total lack of thinking about partner selection, even when offspring was the result. It seems that time and again people settle for less and then wonder why they don't get more. The extreme consequences of disconnecting judgment from sexuality seem so obvious that I am amazed that the patriarchal myths still have so much influence. I blame this largely on the trend of making thinking "unsexy". Commercials, mainstream movies, television, music, and the deluge of input from the Internet are all mission-driven to titillate by employing the most superficial elucidation which, combined with the passive acceptance of the audience, almost invites the spoon feeding of skewed truths. It is an attempt to package sexuality in terms of everything that is superficial, involving only surface seeing, feeling, and experiences. Ironically, many of the purveyors of pleasure and everything that's supposed to be hedonistic and liberating end up echoing the usual divisions between the "serious" and the non-serious, between thinking and feeling, between thought and pleasure. One of the most obvious manifestations of this has been the elevation of celebrities to demi-gods. Would everyone cease knowing how to dress themselves, without celebrity wardrobes to mimic? Would we stop knowing what it means to have fun, to find and achieve sexual pleasure, without advertising? Would we have no idea of how to relate to each other, or how to choose not to relate, if that is where our sense and instincts lead us? I for one, think we'd all manage just fine. Think how many emotional calamities (romantic and otherwise) could be avoided if issues that are so often defined as "non-sexual" (integrity, honor, political judgment) were a part of the sexual evaluation criteria. It may seem like an unfashionable thing to talk about, but I will continue to point to this truth?Thinking is sexy. Which makes issues like honor, integrity, and politics sexy, too. All those repressive ideas that pigeonhole human experiences into what is fun and what is staid are actually the heart of the idea that thinking is "unsexy". Waking up to that may make us realize just how much the dominant myths about "pure feeling and pleasure" are based on patriarchal ideas that are far from fashionable. Yvette Dubel is the founder of Enhancement Consulting. If she had to select one speciality it would be relationships. She is the creator of Clear Strategy and Clarity, software products that assist users in making better relationship decisions:http://www.enhancementconsulting.net/simpleplan.html As a business consultant she helps clients maximize relationshps with CRM strategies to drive profits.
MORE RESOURCES: How do psychedelics affect sexuality and intimacy? futurity.org A moment that changed me: I used a pseudonym on a dating app - and started exploring my sexuality The Guardian Age, education linked to sexual dysfunction in women with MS Multiple Sclerosis News Today Psychedelics May Enhance Intimacy, Attraction, and Sexual Expression Neuroscience News Can luxury sell sexual wellness? Vogue Business The age of sexual enlightenment in ‘Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice’ Far Out Magazine Why is a woman’s sexuality so controversial? The Commonwealth Times Democrats, school advocates continue pushback against ‘redundant’ human sexuality bill News From The States Wildwood man arrested, accused of sexually assaulting a child several times NBC10 Philadelphia Northwestern student group offers free 'Plan B Hotline' to advance 'healthy sexuality' Campus Reform Gender and Sexuality Resource Center unveils new home northernstar.info OPINION: The “Femininomenon” of women’s sexuality in music The Red & Black Special education teacher accused of sexually assaulting 15-year-old boy during tutoring session WNDU What’s Really Happening During ‘Squirting’? A Deep Dive into the Science Scientific American Midland woman charged with sexual conduct involving 17-year-old Benzie County Record Patriot Two Jackson Hole nurses start sexual health nonprofit JHNewsAndGuide.com Police shuts down KidFlix child sexual exploitation platform BleepingComputer SNAP complaint against top cardinal involves priest defrocked for sexual misconduct Crux | Taking the Catholic Pulse Middletown man pleads guilty to sexually exploiting toddler on Snapchat Hamilton In-depth, Investigative News from Journal-News N.Y.C. Cannabis Boss Resigns Amid Sexual Harassment Investigation The New York Times India national gets 35 years of jail in US for sexual exploitation of minors, child pornography India TV News Alan Cumming Talks ‘The Traitors’ and Owning His Sexuality entertainmentnow.com A MN Teacher of the Year is accused of sexual abuse. It’s not the first time. FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul Everman deputy fire chief, another man charged with sexual assault FOX 4 News Dallas-Fort Worth Deer Park church pastor faces backlash after attacking sexuality of DPISD superintendent finalist Houston Public Media Man accused of breaking into victim's North Austin home, then sexually assaulting and robbing them KVUE PRESS RELEASE: Indian-national in Edmond sentenced to 35 years for sexually extorting minors online Oklahoma City Free Press Israeli said arrested in Thailand after Finnish tourist alleges sexual assault - The Times of Israel Israeli said arrested in Thailand after Finnish tourist alleges sexual assault The Times of Israel Former El Paso Zoo employee files sexual harassment lawsuit against supervisor, zoo director El Paso Matters Sexual violence in the Church: the African taboo JusticeInfo.net Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? Christianity Today Air Force Academy football player facing sexual assault charge Colorado Springs Gazette Medina dentist charged with solicitation, accused of trying to pay employee for sexual favors Cleveland 19 News WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Former Edgar County teacher arrested on sexual assault charges The Prairie Press Sexual Assault Lawsuit Against Diddy Dismissed After Anonymous Plaintiff Failed to Identify Herself Yahoo News New Zealand TPD: Undercover agents arrest Detroit man who travelled to Toledo for sexual relations with minors WTVG Ex-Johnston County chorus teacher accused of more sex crimes with 17-year-old Raleigh News & Observer B.C. doctor suspended over sexual relationship with former patient Goldstream News Gazette Wood County Commission declares April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month mariettatimes.com Executive Order Targets Prohibitions Against Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression Discrimination Littler Mendelson P.C. Staff | Center for Women, Gender & Sexuality | Student Affairs UMass Dartmouth Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times Let’s talk about sex: Exploring the psychology of human sexuality The Rocky Mountain Collegian DoD Report on Sexual Harassment and Violence at the Military Service Academies, Academic P U.S. Department of Defense (.gov) Executive Order Targets Prohibitions Against Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression Discrimination Littler Mendelson P.C. The importance of human sexuality in counseling www.counseling.org 70% of sexual assault cases in Guyana involve children; Over 300 cases reported every month newssourcegy.com Uber driver accused of sexually assaulting woman in East Hartford Hartford Courant Comprehensive sexuality education United Nations Population Fund |
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