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Sexual Healing - Not Just for Marvin Gaye
If you occasionally tune into those sex shows on HBO, you may be shocked at what some people out there are buying and doing in the name of livening up their sex lives. Yes, having sex with the same person year after year can surely get predictable. Even so: do you really need battery-powered toys and instruction manuals to feel moved by the Ultimate Intimate Act? I'd venture a guess to say NO. And bets are on that Marvin Gaye wrote his famous song, "Sexual Healing," with the same thought in mind! Think back to the early days with your partner. Chances are, the sex was pretty darned good. What was it that made them so irresistible? Might it have been your ability to focus totally on each other? The appreciation you had for that real love you'd been wishing for so long? And now... well, of course you love them. But the more time we spend with someone, the more we tend to take them for granted. Maybe your lives are so busy that you feel like you have to "fit sex into your schedule." So: what mental state are you in when the two of you finally get around to doing it? Distracted? Harried? Obligatory? None of these are very conducive to real closeness. Many people are running out and buying fancy equipment in the name of making their love lives more fun. But what about the equipment that God gave you: your eyes, ears, mouth, nose, skin... and the most crucial thing of all, your mind? When was the last time you were fully engaged in sex with all five of your senses and totally connecting with your partner? Here are some things you can do to turn those intimate moments into the healing and fulfilling experience that sex was meant to be. 1. Relax and clear your mind. It's pretty tough to focus on how someone makes you feel when the voices in your head are chattering away! Put those worries on a high shelf in the back of the closet... you have the rest of your life to deal with pressing issues. Tonight is for living in the moment and loving your partner. 2. Remember the good things. When was the last time you dwelled on that sweet smile that's bestowed upon you when you walk in the door each evening? Have you two shared a laugh recently? What about the last sacrifice your husband, wife or lover made simply because they loved you? Even if it was something small like running out for a quart of milk so you could have cereal... never take the little things for granted. 3. Free yourself of negative thoughts. If there are "issues" that keep popping up about your partner, do one of two things: have an open-minded talk to clear the air, or choose to forget the issues because they're probably too petty to be of consequence anyway. 4. Clean up. Get rid of that unsightly pile of laundry on the bedroom floor. Change the sheets to clean fresh ones. Take a hot shower, shave your legs or face. Brush and floss if you're concerned about halitosis. Clutter is distracting. Sex should be a holy act, and holiness is pure and clean... so get rid of the filth and mess! 5. Quiet down and slow down. Music is a nice way to set the mood... but sometimes the best music is quiet breathing and the rhythm of your own two hearts. Lie together, but don't rush anything. Good sex is leisurely and pleasurable, not a race to the finish line. 6. Open your eyes. Whoever said that eyes should be closed during intimacy is missing half the fun. Get nose-to-nose, belly-to-belly with your partner, lie still, and open your eyes. Breathe up from your stomach and through your nose, all the while beholding the sight of them. Look into those honest and loving eyes, let your gaze fall to their shapely lips and the contours of their neck... notice every curve of their body, and every rise and fall of the easy breaths they take... 7. Revel in the sensations. God gave you a sense of touch so you could experience the joy of intimacy. Drink in every inch of your lover. Relax, breathe... let your eyes, lips and hands wander where they may. Rest your hand in the small of their back, encircle them with your loving arms. Cradle the back of their vulnerable head in your strong and protective embrace. Notice the warmth in your toes, the electric sensation in your pores, the passion bubbling up from your belly. 8. Breathe them in. Breathing sets the pace for a truly spiritual and moving sexual experience. Breathe in your partner's exhaled breath, breathe in the scent on their skin, and breathe as you focus on the way they touch you. You will find that once your breathing is deep and synchronized, sex becomes almost like a dance. You are more likely to experience simultaneous orgasms if slow and steady breathing is engaged together. 9. Get even closer. Lying on your sides, turn face to face and let the easy energy flow between you. This is an effortless and relaxing way to enjoy foreplay that allows head to toe contact with your partner. Another powerful position is for the man to sit crossed legged, and the woman to sit facing him with her legs encircling his waist. You may find this position too uncomfortable to actually engage in the sex act itself, but nevertheless make it part of the whole experience. Enfold your partner in your firm embrace, with one open palm pressed into the middle of their back and the other arm wrapped snugly about their waist. Press your foreheads together. Concentrate wholly on the moment, in being with them and breathing as one with them, in the feelings they evoke within you and in loving them. By this time, I don't think I need to instruct you on how to make the rest of your evening enjoyable. If you really take the time to rejoice in the feelings you two have for each other, the rest should happen quite naturally. Good loving is most definitely a powerful and healing experience! You may find that as you lay in the blissful aftermath, that aching back and/or indigestion you felt earlier has magically disappeared. Your mind feels unburdened and peaceful, your skin warm and tingly, and all the trivial issues of the day have melted away. Remember that not everyone is fortunate as you, to have someone to love and think about them and care for them each and every day. Some poor souls lie alone at night craving human closeness. But you have been blessed with a partner who has promised to love you and share your life for the rest of your days. That knowledge alone should be enough to want mind-blowing sex with them! Try it out together, and open your heart and mind to your partner the way you did when love was new. You'll be so very glad you did. Sleep well, happy lovers! Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved. Dina Giolitto is a copywriting consultant and ghostwriter with 10 years of experience writing corporate print materials and web content. Trust her with your next e-book, article series or web project, and make a lasting impression on your audience of information-hungry prospects. Visit http://www.wordfeeder.com for more information.
MORE RESOURCES: BedPost: Porn harms the female sexuality thepostathens.com Sexual Health Center Erie County (.gov) Jared Leto Accused of Sexual Misconduct by Multiple Women: "An Open Secret for a Long Time" Consequence of Sound Rulings Near on Sexuality Cases Assemblies of God (USA) I Was Super Into My Husband’s New Sexual Fixation. Then His Co-Worker Got Involved. - Slate Magazine Jared Leto denies sexual misconduct allegations from multiple women, some who say they were underage Entertainment Weekly Ask a Cleveland Sex Therapist: Sexual vs Romantic Compatibility: Which One is More Important? Cleveland Scene Andrew Cuomo Was Contrite About His Sexual Harassment Scandal. Not Anymore. The New York Times "It's virtually exploded": Children's Advocacy Center sheds light on child sexual exploitation Local 3 News Museum: Artifact shows playful, serious sides of 19th-century sexual health and attitudes The Jerusalem Post Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s daughter Gracie opens up about her sexuality and clarifies ‘clickbait’ headlines Yahoo Life UK Tim McGraw + Faith Hill’s Daughter Gracie Clarifies Her Sexuality, Slams ‘Clickbait’ Taste of Country Massage therapist accused of sexually assaulting clients inside El Portal home - NBC 6 South Florida Massage therapist accused of sexually assaulting clients inside El Portal home NBC 6 South Florida SCOTUS Sides With Straight Woman in Sexuality Discrimination Case The New Republic Bishop Martyn Snow steps down as lead for Church of England sexuality process Premier Christian News SAPD investigates sexual hazing at Central Catholic High School San Antonio Report Deerfield Academy reaches settlement with sexual abuse victim Greenfield Recorder Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) World Health Organization (WHO) Police consider whether 'King of the Hill' actor's sexual orientation played a role in his killing ABC News Tim McGraw’s Daughter Gracie Clarifies Sexuality: ‘I’ve Been an Out and Proud Queer, Bisexual Woman’ Us Weekly Fired GCMS teacher/coach arrested on sexual-abuse charges The News-Gazette Former Indiana team doctor accused of sexual misconduct by at least 15 men's basketball players Yahoo Sports COLUMN: Hot rods, math and sexuality at the library Salmon Arm Observer Police: Clarion man targeted by 814 Pred Hunters sexually abused child in Punxsy The Punxsutawney Spirit Former DC Talk frontman accused of sexual assault and grooming Premier Christian News Kissimmee Man Arrested for Child Sexual Abuse Material and Drug Possession, Sheriff's Office Says Positively Osceola Your women’s, gender and sexuality studies degree isn’t useless — it’s essential to maintaining democracy The Tufts Daily Former Wyoming Seminary assistant girls wrestling coach charged with sexual assault WVIA Public Media Jonathan Joss: Police Are Investigating Actor’s Sexual Orientation as Motive in His Killing Rolling Stone Teen charged in connection with abduction, sexual assault of 12-year-old girl in Philadelphia CBS News Wander Franco's sexual abuse trial begins in Dominican Republic FOX 13 Tampa Bay Vice President of Intercollegiate Athletics at TSU on administrative leave amid sexual assault allegations FOX 26 Houston Men’s Sexual Health: 5 Things You Need to Know Mass General Brigham Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center New Prague man sentenced to 72 years for sexually abusing 2 children 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS Teen groped in Central Park after being asked if he was ‘sexual’ New York Daily News Identity Project provides clarity on gender and sexuality Kentucky Today From sex and sexuality to contraception and consent; it’s all up for discussion on new series, Ar Led Nation.Cymru Judge orders woman who accused ex-Dodgers pitcher Trevor Bauer of sexual assault to pay damages by default Los Angeles Times |
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