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Socrates, Politics and Axe Murder: A Look at Gay Marriage
This week, I attended a reading by Christopher Phillips. He is the author of Socrates' Caf�: A Fresh Taste of Philosophy, and has been described as the "Johnny Appleseed of philosophy" because of his penchant for starting meaningful dialogues with groups around the world. He was in town to promote his newest book, Six Questions for Socrates: A Modern-Day Journey of Discovery Through World Philosophy. Because I happen to live in Portland, Oregon, a city with a reputation for contemplative people who tend to be voracious readers (must be the rain), the room at Powell's Books was packed. After reading a few pages from his book describing a typical Socratic dialogue, Phillips asked us to consider the question, "What is virtue?" and to think about how it might relate to our world today. Well, "today" happened to be the day that President Bush announced his intention to push for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. It was clearly a hot topic in the room, and the first speaker jumped right in by asking if perhaps we could become a more virtuous society by respecting and supporting a "multiplicity of choices" regarding any loving relationship between two consenting adults. The hour passed swiftly as many individuals contributed to the discussion of tolerance, support, acceptance, common good, well being, and the development of our culture. No matter what you believe about gay marriage, considering its implications is a fascinating process in evaluating and defining our own sense of virtue. When I was four, my father announced to my mother that he was homosexual. My mother had been raised in the Mormon church, the only child of two very conservative parents. She told me years later that she'd had to look up the word in the dictionary to know what he was talking about. It was 1964. She chose to pack up my two brothers and me and head to Oregon to live with her parents. I grew up hearing from my grandmother that my father was "evil" and that someday I'd learn about the horrible things he'd done. I envisioned him as an axe murderer. I didn't see him for years. I now have a very friendly relationship with him, and I am pleased to report that he has never killed anyone. In fact, he leads a quiet, happy life of gardening, paying bills, helping others in his community, and being completely dedicated to his partner. They've been together for over 40 years--about 28 years longer than he was married to my mother. I don't know any couple that has been able to withstand more challenges while remaining absolutely devoted to supporting each other than my father and his partner. With lasting love being so hard to find, I think we ought to support and celebrate it whenever possible. Can we legislate love? Is there ever a good reason for society to put limits on a loving relationship between two consenting adults? What responsibility do we have as citizens to support caring, long-term relationships? How will our culture be affected by our choice to support or limit partnerships between two individuals who choose to sustain each other throughout their lives? Just as important as these questions are those related to the time, expense and divisive discussion required to alter our nation's official stance on this issue. I fail to understand how anyone can decide to focus such enormous resources on clarifying personal relationships at a national level when there are clearly so many more pressing problems that demand attention. I'd like to see less focus on legislating loving partnerships, and a lot more on preventing truly heinous acts. Like, say, axe murder. Or maybe war. With mouths to feed, children to educate, jobs to create, and communities to support, the discussion surrounding gay marriage is pointedly political and decidedly distracting. I don't know what Socrates would have said about this issue, but my guess is that he'd enjoy the debate. It's likely that he would argue to allow individuals to thoughtfully pursue their personal quest for excellence and enjoy the same benefits granted to every other adult member of the community. As our society continues in its welcome development of a more evolved sense of ethics, we can rise to the challenge. As individuals, we can dedicate ourselves to continuing this thoughtful debate in our communities, our homes, and within ourselves to foster enlightened decision-making at local (state) levels. I'm hoping for careful consideration, honesty, full disclosure, and a willingness to accept the risks required to expand our thinking. My father had the guts to pursue his own sense of excellence in 1964 and, despite years of personal anguish, was successful in opening the minds of everyone in my family. I hope our nation's leaders will be as courageous--and more importantly, as compassionate--in their approach. About The Author Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. She serves up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief in her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage. To subscribe, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.
MORE RESOURCES: Montana Representative proposes parental opt-in for sex ed on sexuality and gender identity KPAX News Religious Israelis abuzz over study on gay sexual experiences in gender-segregated schools - Haaretz The Unusual Epistle that Helps Me Counsel on Sexuality ChristianityToday.com Senators Debate Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity In Schools West Virginia Public Broadcasting Former Spanish football chief guilty of sexual harassment Voice of America Pine Bush man who pleaded guilty to child sexual abuse sentenced 18 years in prison Times Herald-Record Is it overly sexual, or is it just queer? Daily Trojan Online Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Official: Waverly Community Schools staff member under investigation for sexual misconduct Lansing State Journal Spain’s Ex-Soccer Chief Convicted of Sexual Assault for Kissing Star Player The New York Times Spain’s ex-football chief Luis Rubiales found guilty of sexual assault Al Jazeera English Former church worker Abraham Molina arrested and charged with child sexual assault in Conroe, Montgomery County deputies say ABC13 Houston Sabrina Carpenter Is Proof That Artists Shouldn’t Have To Sacrifice Their Sex Appeal For Success BuzzFeed “Forced to Give Up on Their Dreams”: Sexual Violence against Girls in Guatemala | HRW Human Rights Watch Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) Equity Work Group RI.gov: Rhode Island Government Luis Rubiales guilty of sexual assault and fined €10,000 for kissing Jenni Hermoso at World Cup - The Athletic The Athletic Charge for sexual assault on a child filed against soccer coach in Aurora Public Schools FOX 31 Denver Lincoln’s Sexuality Rough Draft Atlanta Alexander Brothers Face More Lawsuits Accusing Them of Sexual Assault The New York Times Lee College professor accused for sexually assaulting woman he met on Tinder KPRC Click2Houston Where do sexual offenders live in the Houston area? KPRC Click2Houston City contract worker accuses New Orleans homeless czar Nathaniel Fields of sexual harassment WDSU New Orleans Man faces new sexual misconduct charge after previous conviction Mankato Free Press Executive Order Targets Prohibitions Against Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression Discrimination Littler Mendelson PC 23-year-old Mio woman arraigned on six felony counts for sexual assault of a minor in 2022 UpNorthLive.com Back in bloom: Gender and Sexuality Center presents spring programs, invites community nominations The University of Rhode Island 'MORE VICTIMS': Former soccer coach accused of sexual abuse of soccer players WPTV News Channel 5 West Palm Man Accused of Sexual Assault InDepthNH.org Broward County health center employee arrested for sexual battery; detectives seek additional victims WSVN 7News | Miami News, Weather, Sports | Fort Lauderdale Instruction Concerning Human Sexuality (SB 442) ACLU of Indiana New Allegation of Sexual Misconduct Swirls Around CPAC Chair Matt Schlapp The New York Times El Capitan High School employee arrested in Merced following sexual assault allegation - KMPH Fox 26 Court papers reveal man killed in Finger Lakes was sexually assaulted and beaten over a month syracuse.com Charged Houston Police captain accused of molesting, sexually assaulting child for years KPRC Click2Houston Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Staff | Center for Women, Gender & Sexuality | Student Affairs UMass Dartmouth Docs: Hartford City man charged after reportedly sexually abusing family member for years FOX 59 Indianapolis Spain's former football chief Luis Rubiales convicted of sexual assault over forced kiss FRANCE 24 English The importance of human sexuality in counseling American Counseling Association Marshall County Sheriff's Office: Jury delivers guilty verdict in sexual abuse case Local 5 - weareiowa.com Legislation would allow criminal and civil penalties for creating sexual deepfake content City Pulse NFL investigating Justin Tucker's sexual misconduct allegations, interviewing accusers: reports Fox News Robbie Williams on Sexuality Rumors: ‘You’ve Never Met Somebody That Wants to Be Gay as Much as Me’ Variety Comprehensive sexuality education UNFPA News Chicago Priest Removed From Ministry After Allegations of Child Sexual Abuse National Catholic Register Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times |
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