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Lets Play: A Guide to Intimacy
Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax. The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime. Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered. Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry. Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades. Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.” Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you. Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so. Susan Hoskins For more writings by Susan, visit her blog at http://Suzika101.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES: Relationship OCD made me question my sexuality Business Insider ‘Back to basics’: University to offer gender, sexuality studies program from Catholic perspective The College Fix Man charged with rape, sexual assaults at his Concord hair salon San Francisco Chronicle Understanding gender and sexuality in 2024 | Community News Courier-Gazette & Camden Herald Dak Prescott no longer under criminal investigation by Dallas police over sexual assault claim Yahoo Sports Dallas PD: 'Insufficient evidence' to pursue sexual assault charges against Cowboys QB Dak Prescott FOX 4 News Dallas-Fort Worth Police won’t charge Cowboys' Dak Prescott in sexual assault case The Dallas Morning News Roseville man sentenced for sexually assaulting teen girls. ‘These losses are life-changing’ Sacramento Bee The 'My Rape Made Me Gay' Storyline In Baby Reindeer Doesn't Sit Right With Me Refinery29 Australia Longtime jam-band bar owner Jay Bianchi could have more sexual assault victims, police say The Denver Post Hudson elementary teacher charged with child sexual assault WQOW TV News 18 Expanding clergy sexual abuse probe targets New Orleans Catholic church leaders National Catholic Reporter Statewide: When hospitals avoid helping sexual assault survivors Tri States Public Radio Bay County jury convicted local doctor following sexual battery charges WMBB - mypanhandle.com The Methodist sexual revolution | WORLD WORLD News Group Sexual Violence Prevention Association Slams Dem Rep Eric Sorensen Over Rape Joke Washington Free Beacon USAO: Former Arlington attorney, coach sentenced for sexually exploiting children for years DC News Now | Washington, DC San Francisco Dems' sexual misconduct committee puts allegations against politico Jay Cheng back in spotlight Mission Local French parliament agrees to investigate sexual abuse in cinema FRANCE 24 English Gérard Depardieu Ordered to Stand Trial in Sexual Assault Case The New York Times Gerard Depardieu to be tried in October over alleged sexual assaults Al Jazeera English Slidell High teacher accused of having sexual relationship with student, buying alcohol for students at bars FOX 8 Local First Building a connected CWRU community: review sexual assault resources The Daily | Case Western Reserve University Justice Department secures agreement to resolve sexual harassment lawsuit against Savannah landlord WTOC Parent sues Verona district, alleges daughter was sexually assaulted repeatedly in school NorthJersey.com Man charged with criminal sexual assault, aggravated criminal sexual abuse in Williamson County KBSI Fox 23 Cape Girardeau News | Paducah News Four more victims accuse former Benicia teacher of sexual abuse The Vallejo Sun Hamas Rape Allegations: Why Won't More Feminists Denounce Oct. 7 Sexual Violence Against Israelis? Foreign Policy Actor Gerard Depardieu to face criminal trial over alleged sexual assault in France, prosecutors say CBS News Billie Eilish says she found conversation around her sexuality 'really frustrating' Yahoo Entertainment Sterling man charged with soliciting, possessing child sexual abuse images - Shaw Local News Network Sterling man charged with soliciting, possessing child sexual abuse images Shaw Local News Network Women's Resource Center Now the Gender & Sexuality Center Swarthmore College How to Explore Your Sexuality, according to Science Scientific American Many Ukrainian Prisoners of War Show Signs of Trauma and Sexual Violence The New York Times HCSO roundup: Shooting; child sexual assault http://www.rrspin.com/ Methodists watch General Conference for verdict on human sexuality WJHL-TV News Channel 11 Ageism, mistaken beliefs complicate acceptance of older adults' sexuality University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign Abilene Christian University to revisit sexuality policy after 'Holy Sexuality Week' The Washington Post Man sexually assaults two women he met online on the same day, Texas cops say Fort Worth Star-Telegram York man convicted of sexually abusing 3 juveniles in Lancaster County between 2003-08 - WPMT FOX 43 Actor Gérard Depardieu will be tried for alleged sexual assaults on a film set, prosecutors say WTVM Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies turns 50 - News - Illinois State Illinois State University News Man, 66, sentenced to 25 years for Chesterfield Twp. sexual assaults The Macomb Daily Metro Atlanta church employee arrested for sexual exploitation of children, police say Atlanta News First Limits of Legibility: Questions of Blackness and Sexuality | Events | Brown University Brown University Senate education bills on human sexuality, cursive move to House • Indiana Capital Chronicle Indiana Capital Chronicle |
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