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Accepting and Embracing Your Sexual Self
What are you hiding? C'mon?you know you're hiding something. Is it that you like anal sex??That you like to have sex with women and men alike?? That you are dominant??That you like to be tied-up? What is it? C'mon, you can tell me. It's just between the two of us. I won't tell anyone - and you'll feel better if you tell someone! Don't believe me? Find a person that you feel is non-judgmental and that you can trust. Tell them, and see for yourself. What? You say that's easier said than done? What if someone SEEMS non-judgmental, and you think you can trust them, but then you're wrong. You certainly won't be feeling much better when your secret is out. You know, you're right. But you know what else? Interestingly, more than likely that person who would be talking about your thing, HAS THEIR VERY OWN THING, TOO?and they keep it just as tightly wrapped up as yours. They, too, wonder what others might think?wonder if they're a bad person, or if something is wrong with them because their interest isn't in the mainstream of the conservative, "OK" sexual realm. All the while, though, they have a sense of guilty enjoyment from the pleasure that draws them to do it in the first place. The thing is, though, that while they're off talking about another's thing, they keep attention away from they own, and they are SURE TO LET OTHERS KNOW THAT THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT. Funny how we human beings are, covering parts of ourselves that we actually have in common with others, but don't know it because we're too busy hiding it. I'd be willing to bet there may even be atleast one person who would read this and say, "Not me! I'm not hiding anything!" If that is you, you might want to consider if you are denying a part of yourself because you feel that it's wrong to have the interest/desire/feeling that you have. So, truly you aren't really hiding it, but rather just denying it?all the while you ARE IT! Interesting, don'tja think? Now, of course, I could be off base here. My experience is what I have come to base my thoughts on. It seems to me that sex and sexual matters are the last taboo in our society. It is the one thing that is not supposed to be "out there" for public consumption. As a pleasurable activity, some would say it isn't even supposed to be there for private consumption. It is one of those things that is being pushed down, pushed aside, covered up, while all the time still living quite a fertile life. Has anyone considered that the more it's covered up and hidden, the more it is made the thing that shouldn't be done, the more likely some will want to do it, or try it? Ever do something that you weren't supposed to be allowed to do - and then wonder what the charge was? Or perhaps you went the other way?you got a big charge out of it because you were doing something you weren't supposed to do? Think about this. People have sex in their office or an elevator, or in other "off limits" places because they're "off limits." It probably wasn't until someone said; "No, this is not acceptable" that couples lined up and said, "Let's have sex HERE!" I wonder how many people would be having sex in these types of places if suddenly anyone could do it anywhere. Now, before you think I support having sex anywhere, let me say, given how things have been, if suddenly it was OK, I would imagine for awhile people would be doing it just about anywhere. But, I would also imagine that the reaction would wear off after a time, and people would cease to do it JUST BECAUSE THEY COULD, but rather because they wanted to. Maybe there would even be a reversion to "let's just do this for us" behind closed doors. Oftentimes, I think people REACT vs. ACT. They don't realize it at the time. But the minute someone says they can't do something - they NEED to do that very same thing. There's an expression what you resist, PERSISTS. If we as a society resist certain sexual behaviors, they will likely continue on a larger scale than those who are vocal about it would like. On a more personal level, resisting a part of who you are - or think you could be - will only have that part of you continue to haunt and taunt you. Allow it, and you may find that the driving power it seemed to have diminishing, and you'll be free to be or not to be, to do or not to do, and no longer be at its mercy. I realize, again, that this may just sound a little too easy of a solution, while it feels to you to be quite a difficult thing to allow. However, I have had many conversations with people regarding these types of things, and once they released themselves from another's restraints (opinions and judgments), they found relief. Given the nature of what I have written, I feel compelled to speak to the following: as long as humans continue to make judgments about what they think is "wrong", "right", "good", "bad", there will always be a diversity of opinions on the assessments of another, based on another's relative experience. For that reason, someone can always find a way to justify their own behavior. This article was written with the greatest of respect for people and their sexual nature. It was not intended in any way to promote any sexual behavior or tendencies. Since I care a great deal for others, it is my belief that it is important for us to be true to ourselves, but not to the detriment of another. What has been written here was written in this context, and it is my desire that a person reading this, who has been fighting aspects of their sexual persona, has been provided a prospective that provides an alternative to their current experience. Essa has a varied, non-judgmental, and fun approach to the work she does as a StressBusterBuddy. She works primarily with individuals on a one-on-one basis, and is the Author and Publisher of a mindful meditation CD. To learn more about Essa, her CD, or to listen to her online recordings, visit http://www.StopKickingYourself.com/or call 212.560.7582 (where you can also hear a 3-minute Relieve Stress Recording - only local, toll, or long distance charges apply).
MORE RESOURCES: The Methodist sexual revolution | WORLD WORLD News Group Relationship OCD made me question my sexuality Business Insider Methodist Sexual Revolution Juicy Ecumenism Billie Eilish says she found conversation around her sexuality 'really frustrating' Yahoo Entertainment Spice Girls' Mel B on her sexuality: 'I fell in love with a woman and was with her for 5 years' attitude.co.uk Understanding gender and sexuality in 2024 | Community News Courier-Gazette & Camden Herald Sexual Violence Prevention Association Slams Dem Rep Eric Sorensen Over Rape Joke Washington Free Beacon Jefferson County Schools employee arrested on charges of sexual assault, child abuse - FOX 31 Denver French parliament agrees to investigate sexual abuse in cinema FRANCE 24 English USAO: Former Arlington attorney, coach sentenced for sexually exploiting children for years DC News Now | Washington, DC Navigating life after sexual assault Temple News Man charged with criminal sexual assault, aggravated criminal sexual abuse in Williamson County KBSI Fox 23 Cape Girardeau News | Paducah News Sexual and reproductive health and rights: central to health, well-being and sustainable futures World Health Organization (WHO) Gérard Depardieu Ordered to Stand Trial in Sexual Assault Case The New York Times Gerard Depardieu to be tried in October over alleged sexual assaults Al Jazeera English Public help sought after stranger sexually assaults woman near St. John's overpass Yahoo News Canada Former Iowa priest faces five counts of sexual abuse KCCI Des Moines Slidell High teacher accused of having sexual relationship with student, buying alcohol for students at bars FOX 8 Local First Building a connected CWRU community: review sexual assault resources The Daily | Case Western Reserve University Parent sues Verona district, alleges daughter was sexually assaulted repeatedly in school NorthJersey.com Sentence revealed for Macomb County man in 2 cases involving sexual abuse of kids WDIV ClickOnDetroit Justice Department secures agreement to resolve sexual harassment lawsuit against Savannah landlord WTOC Actor Gerard Depardieu to face criminal trial over alleged sexual assault in France, prosecutors say CBS News Human Sexuality Curriculum for 2023–24 Offered with Opt-In Leander ISD News | Four more victims accuse former Benicia teacher of sexual abuse The Vallejo Sun French film star Depardieu to face trial for sexual assault on movie set FRANCE 24 English Man arrested on child sexual abuse material charges Fox Carolina Connecticut News | - CT man sentenced to 15 years for sexual assault of two children under 10 Hartford Courant How to Explore Your Sexuality, according to Science Scientific American Women's Resource Center Now the Gender & Sexuality Center Swarthmore College HCSO roundup: Shooting; child sexual assault http://www.rrspin.com/ Hamas Rape Allegations: Why Won't More Feminists Denounce Oct. 7 Sexual Violence Against Israelis? Foreign Policy Title IX protections now extend to gender identity and sexuality. Here's what that means in Florida WUSF Actor Gérard Depardieu will be tried for alleged sexual assaults on a film set, prosecutors say WTVM Ageism, mistaken beliefs complicate acceptance of older adults' sexuality University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign York man convicted of sexually abusing 3 juveniles in Lancaster County between 2003-08 - WPMT FOX 43 Man arrested after sexually assaulting nurse at hospital, authorities say Alaska's News Source Man sexually assaulted 2 women on same day: Texas officials Fort Worth Star-Telegram Abilene Christian University to revisit sexuality policy after 'Holy Sexuality Week' The Washington Post Man, 66, sentenced to 25 years for Chesterfield Twp. sexual assaults The Macomb Daily Metro Atlanta church employee arrested for sexual exploitation of children, police say Atlanta News First Lebanon caregiver imprisoned for sexual misconduct Corvallis Gazette-Times Limits of Legibility: Questions of Blackness and Sexuality | Events | Brown University Brown University Expanding clergy sexual abuse probe targets New Orleans Catholic church leaders WDAF FOX4 Kansas City 'Just put me in cuffs:' Thomaston man faces sexual assault, restraint charges Waterbury Republican American Iranian forces sexually assaulted, beat teen protester to death in 2022 – BBC report The Times of Israel SIT issues lookout circular against Prajwal Revanna in ‘sexual abuse’ case The Indian Express Police charge man with sexual assault of a minor Windsor Star "I Was Never Planning On Talking About My Sexuality Ever": Billie Eilish Opened Up About Her Sexuality Just Months ... Yahoo Entertainment |
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