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Mindfulness and Sex: Right There, Right Now
Mindfulness is downright sexy. After all, what's hotter than a partner who is paying attention? Being Right There, fully in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets. So, it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that we don't really use the term "mindfulness" in relation to loving relationships--let alone love in the afternoon. This should be common, mainstream, slap-your-forehead-and-say-"Duh!" kind of knowledge. I don't pretend to be an expert on what goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive and give birth to four children within five years) but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment unless you are Right There in it. Oh, sure, it's possible to experience physical pleasure when your mind is on something--or someone--other than that which shares your sheets. But we're talking about meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls for Mindfulness with a capital M. It doesn't have to be tantric. You don't have to master every kama sutra position. It doesn't need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You don't even need any props or helpful devices. It can be your regular Tuesday night missionary position in your socks and still be ka-ZAM--if you're paying attention. Oh, and here's a not-so-secret secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good that your partner will be affected and grateful enough to start paying more attention as well. See how that works? Just as some people expect to have meaningful family dinners with the television blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos in their heads. Not possible. By bringing mindfulness to the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring a greater sense of intention and focus, and your body will do a lot better when your mind is on the same page. Instead of following those magazine articles that tell you "what do to in bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words, do only that which you are doing, and nothing else. The next time you get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving communications with your partner. Put your whole heart--and mind--into it. Now, that's sexy. Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.Massageyourmind.com
MORE RESOURCES: Opinion | The Teen Trend of Sexual Choking The New York Times Letter to the Editors: In Support of a Traditional View of Gender and Sexuality - The Wheaton Record Billie Eilish Opens Up About Sexuality After Being Outed On A Red Carpet: 'The Whole World Suddenly Decided Who I ... Yahoo Entertainment “Don't limit yourself”: Drag Race star Sapphira Cristál reflects on her fluid sexuality Gay Times Magazine Sheryl Sandberg's Film Gives Voice to Israeli Victims of Hamas Sexual Violence - Israel News Haaretz How do we talk about Billie Eilish's recent revelations about her sexuality in Rolling Stone without adding to LaineyGossip Billie Eilish Opens Up About Mental Health And Sexuality: 'I've Never Been A Happy Person' Towleroad Filmmaker describes October 7 experience in new documentary - Israel Culture The Jerusalem Post Methodists watch General Conference for verdict on human sexuality WJHL-TV News Channel 11 Lil Nas X Candidly Expresses His Sexuality With New Track ‘Trust Me’: ‘This Song Means a Lot to Me’ Billboard Title IX protections now extend to gender identity and sexuality. Here's what that means in Florida WUSF Two women escape sexual assault attempt by same man just minutes apart, cops say Fort Worth Star-Telegram Semester of SB 17: Gender and Sexuality Collective provides safe space for LGBTQ+ students amid shutdowns, changes The Daily Texan 'We were so close': Nebraska mother responds to veto of child sexual assault and abuse bill • Nebraska Examiner Nebraska Examiner Lil Nas X gets candid about his sexuality on new single, "Trust Me" The Line of Best Fit Diddy's Lawyers Fight to Toss Sexual Assault and Revenge Porn Civil Suit The Source Magazine 'Dead Boy Detectives' Boss on Exploring Edwin's Sexual Identity & Charles' Role in That Journey TV Insider Ravenna dad desperate for justice after claiming video of his daughter’s sexual assault was posted on Snapchat Cleveland 19 News Florida priest arrested on multiple counts of sexual battery ABC Action News Tampa Bay Billie Eilish on What Made Her Realize She's “Been in Love With Girls for My Whole Life” Harper's BAZAAR Daniel Bedingfield opens up about sexuality and a man he "loved" Gay Times Magazine Sophia Bush Comes Out as Queer: 'My Sexuality Exists on a Spectrum' Pajiba Entertainment News Human Sexuality Curriculum for 2023–24 Offered with Opt-In Leander ISD News | Billie Eilish 'didn't understand' her own sexuality Yahoo New Zealand News Utah woman charged with sexual battery after pulling teen's skirt down Salt Lake Tribune Dozens of people “stepped up” for sexual assault survivors at Final Steps Awareness Walk 25 News Now Sheryl Sandberg’s new film testifies to Hamas’s brutal sexual violence on October 7 The Times of Israel Billie Eilish Speaks on Her Sexuality: "I've Been in Love With Girls for My Whole Life" Yahoo Entertainment Former substitute teacher facing additional sexual battery charges WPTV News Channel 5 West Palm St. Paul police make arrest in sexual assault, burglary case FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul Billie Eilish Reveals How She Realized Her Sexuality ThatGrapeJuice Sophia Bush Opens Up About Her Sexuality & Relationship With Soccer Player Ashlyn Harris 69News WFMZ-TV FBI Warns On The Nationwide Increase Of Sexual Assaults On Airplanes Tampa Free Press L.A. school athletic trainer pleads to sexual assault of 12 girls Los Angeles Times Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies turns 50 - News - Illinois State Illinois State University News Navy Investigating More Than 100 'Secretly Shot' Sexual Videos of US Troops Uploaded to Adult Website Military.com Women's Resource Center Now the Gender & Sexuality Center Swarthmore College How to Explore Your Sexuality, according to Science Scientific American ‘One Tree Hill’ Star Sophia Bush Confirms Relationship With Ashlyn Harris: “My Sexuality Exists on a Spectrum” Hollywood Reporter Indiana school boards to have final say over 'human sexuality' lessons under GOP-backed bill • Indiana Capital Chronicle Indiana Capital Chronicle States are challenging bans on books about sexuality The Christian Science Monitor Israel fumes as UN secretary-general leaves Hamas off sexual violence blacklist The Times of Israel How Stanley Kwan explored sexuality in his films Lan Yu and Hold You Tight South China Morning Post |
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