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Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins "pulling away" you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times. 1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you. 2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: "I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen." 3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing...anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don't censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, "OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more." Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it. 4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can "get away." Intentionally spend some time there. 5. Use good "self talk." Tell yourself, "You are ok. You will be ok. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you." Develop that "observing part" that can speak to your turmoil. 6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don't have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture. 7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain. 8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves. 9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems. 10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road. Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php?ad=139627
MORE RESOURCES: RHOBH's Kyle Richards Shares Journey of Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Media Scrutiny - E! Online E! NEWS 'RHOBH' Star Kyle Richards Opens Up About Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Mauricio Umansky Separation Yahoo Entertainment What is demisexuality? I’m a Celebrity star Tulisa Contostavlos reveals her sexuality; know all about it Hindustan Times Why Tulisa no longer has sexual intercourse after announcing she's demisexual in I'm A Celeb episode LADbible Police Report Offers Graphic Details of Sexual Assault Claim Against Hegseth The New York Times Parents in Massachusetts School District Can’t Opt Out of ‘Sexuality,’ ‘Gender Identity’ Lessons The Lion 'Strange logic' surrounding sexuality & rape: If husband's needs are fulfilled 'this won't happen' FRANCE 24 English Lawsuit alleges IHOPKC failed to act when minor was sexually harassed, bullied at retreat Kansas City Star Police records reveal new details about sexual assault allegation against Pete Hegseth The Washington Post 'RHOBH' Star Kyle Richards Opens Up About Questioning Her Sexuality Amid Mauricio Umansky Separation Women's Health Kyle Richards’ Sexuality: Everything the ‘RHOBH’ Star Has Said Amid Mauricio Separation Life&Style Weekly Urologist Who Sexually Abused Patients Is Sentenced to Life in Prison The New York Times Hamilton business owner admits to sexual assault of 19-year-old Hamilton Journal News A Dickinson County Man to Stand Trial on Charges of Criminal Sexual Conduct Against Two Minors Bay Cities Radio The Gendered Battle Over Digital Sexual Abuse in South Korea New Lines Magazine Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? ChristianityToday.com Alcohol and sexual assault on college campuses: What is KU doing for prevention? The University Daily Kansan Romanesque churches’ explicitly sexual carvings were ‘the nobility’s political propaganda’ EL PAÍS USA Alan Jones, Former Australian Shock Jock, Charged With Sexual Abuse The New York Times Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Trump’s Latest Cabinet Pick Is Also Mired in a Sexual Abuse Scandal The New Republic 'American Idol' Star Clay Aiken Bizarrely Brings Up Shawn Mendes' Sexuality During Interview Wide Open Country Arsenal fans’ open letter to club over sexual violence concerns attracts 7,300 signatures The Athletic ‘For the very first time I really enjoyed sex!’ − how lesbian escort agencies became a form of self-care in Japan The Conversation A week in France - Le Pen's fake jobs trial, Major shifts in sexuality over the last decade, and Notre-Dame FRANCE 24 English Leacock Township man will spend at least a year in county prison for sexually assaulting teenager LNP | LancasterOnline Senator wants info on inspectors general office sexual harassment settlements - Government Executive Senator wants info on inspectors general office sexual harassment settlements Government Executive Defense pick Hegseth paid accuser but denies sexual assault, attorney says The Washington Post What is demisexuality, a lesser-known sexual orientation that everyone is talking about? - Firstpost Shocking video shows doctor walking around nude, performing sexual act in front of workers Arizona's Family Shawn Mendes Said He Chose To Publicly Discuss His Sexuality Last Month Because He Wants To Live His “Authentic Truth” Yahoo Entertainment Trump Stands by Defense Pick Who Says Encounter With Woman Was Not Sexual Assault The New York Times Sexual harassment lawsuit filed against Lexington rental property owner, manager LEX 18 News - Lexington, KY Cincinnati doctor under investigation by State Medical Board for alleged sexual misconduct WLWT Cincinnati On The Intersection Of Criminology & Sexuality Pacific University Las Vegas man accused of sexually harassing 17-year-old waitress in Cedar City restaurant - ABC4.com What Is Demisexuality? Im A Celebrity Fame Tulisa Contostavlos Opens Up About Her Sexual Identity Free Press Journal Commissioner’s daughter steps forward as the woman he sexually assaulted in Las Vegas Greenfield Daily Reporter |
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