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Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins "pulling away" you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times. 1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you. 2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: "I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen." 3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing...anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don't censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, "OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more." Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it. 4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can "get away." Intentionally spend some time there. 5. Use good "self talk." Tell yourself, "You are ok. You will be ok. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you." Develop that "observing part" that can speak to your turmoil. 6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don't have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture. 7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain. 8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves. 9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems. 10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road. Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php?ad=139627
MORE RESOURCES: 'On Swift Horses' director says Daisy Edgar-Jones' bond with Jacob Elordi 'transcends sexuality' Entertainment Weekly JoJo Siwa Clarifies Her Sexuality on 'Celebrity Big Brother' Weeks After Mickey Rourke's Exit People.com The Texas Legislature is having big battles over gender and sexuality. Track them here. The Texas Tribune ‘Spring Awakening’ provides a mirror into society's treatment of teenage sexuality The Daily Cardinal European rights court finds France failed to protect child victims of sexual assault JURIST Legal News Authorities warn Sonoma County barn owners after man makes sexually suggestive comment about child The Press Democrat Human sexuality instruction bill heads to governor — without consent repeal Indiana Public Media Ravens draft Marshall edge rusher Mike Green, a polarizing talent The Baltimore Banner Judge declares mistrial in Hockey Canada sexual assault case Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Sexual assault, harassment up at CU Boulder Boulder Weekly Former Hennepin County judge reprimanded for pattern of sexual harassment, relationship with clerk Star Tribune Fairfield Central High School band director arrested on sexual battery charge, sheriff's office says WLTX Portland teacher who was sexually harassed by middle school boys settles lawsuit for $300K OregonLive.com Jojo Siwa's partner Kath opened up about sexuality as Jojo declared she's 'not a lesbian' on CBB LADbible Creep Indiana pol learns his fate for sick sexual assault on his own daughter on nightmare 21st birthday trip to Vegas New York Post In Hockey Canada sexual assault trial, judge declares mistrial; jury empaneled for next week The New York Times LLCC showcases Sexual Assault Survivor exhibit The Breeze-Courier Pa. man, 22, wanted in relation to alleged sexual assault of 12-year-old Pine Hill girl Courier-Post Cardington man indicted on 41 counts in connection with pandering sexually-oriented materials involving minors Richland Source Park City man faces 10 felony charges for possessing child sexual abuse material TownLift, Park City News Public Safety Alert, Sexual Assault/Distraction Theft Investigation, Scarborough area, Images Released Toronto Police Service Modern Love: Monogamy as sexual orientation Aspen Daily News Montgomery man, 84, accused of sexually assaulting minors, now faces 127-count indictment Shaw Local Democrats, school advocates continue pushback against ‘redundant’ human sexuality bill Indiana Capital Chronicle Man travels from Texas to Arizona to sexually abuse 12-year-old for hours, feds say - Sacramento Bee AI images of child sexual abuse getting ‘significantly more realistic’, says watchdog - The Guardian Dance Moms star JoJo Siwa finds the truth about her sexuality, says ‘I'm not a lesbian’ Hindustan Times A moment that changed me: I used a pseudonym on a dating app - and started exploring my sexuality The Guardian WATCH: “Southern Hospitality’s” Lake Rucker Talks Exploring her Sexuality and Season 3 Drama - GLAAD Not Just a Joke: Understanding & Preventing Gender- & Sexuality-Based Bigotry Southern Poverty Law Center The Unusual Epistle that Helps Me Counsel on Sexuality Christianity Today Reflecting on sexuality through female artists The Bowdoin Orient Doctors or Sexual Predators? Jakarta Globe What Is JoJo Siwa’s Sexuality? Singer Makes It Clear On Celebrity Big Brother: I Am Not A Lesbian Newsx Is Sexuality a Matter of First Importance? Christianity Today Jaime Campos sentenced to prison for sexually abusing teen that resulted in pregnancy East Idaho News Staff | Center for Women, Gender & Sexuality | Student Affairs UMass Dartmouth Let’s talk about sex: Exploring the psychology of human sexuality The Rocky Mountain Collegian Pentagon Reaches Settlement With Veterans Dismissed Over Sexuality The New York Times ‘Used unfettered power to sexually abuse women’: Harvey Weinstein’s rape retrial begins The Indian Express Bothell HS band teacher arrested for alleged sexual misconduct with former student - MyNorthwest.com Sexual Health Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center The importance of human sexuality in counseling www.counseling.org JoJo Siwa makes sexuality confession amid ‘flirty’ Chris Hughes friendship as partner 'disappears' GB News UF SG started a Gender and Sexuality Protection agency. What’s next? The Independent Florida Alligator National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, 2025 The White House (.gov) Shawn Mendes Is Still ‘Figuring Out’ His Sexuality. Let’s Give Him—and Others Like Him—Some Grace Vogue Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) Equity Work Group Rhode Island Department of Health (.gov) |
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