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Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins "pulling away" you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times. 1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you. 2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: "I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen." 3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing...anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don't censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, "OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more." Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it. 4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can "get away." Intentionally spend some time there. 5. Use good "self talk." Tell yourself, "You are ok. You will be ok. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you." Develop that "observing part" that can speak to your turmoil. 6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don't have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture. 7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain. 8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves. 9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems. 10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road. Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php?ad=139627
MORE RESOURCES: Opinion | The Teen Trend of Sexual Choking The New York Times Billie Eilish Opens Up About Sexuality After Being Outed On A Red Carpet: 'The Whole World Suddenly Decided Who I ... Yahoo Entertainment We spoke to young people about sexual consent. They understand the concept, but don't always ask in the moment The Conversation Lil Nas X Candidly Expresses His Sexuality With New Track ‘Trust Me’: ‘This Song Means a Lot to Me’ Billboard Letter to the Editors: In Support of a Traditional View of Gender and Sexuality - The Wheaton Record Sheryl Sandberg's Film Gives Voice to Israeli Victims of Hamas Sexual Violence - Israel News Haaretz Billie Eilish Opens Up About Mental Health And Sexuality: 'I've Never Been A Happy Person' Towleroad How do we talk about Billie Eilish's recent revelations about her sexuality in Rolling Stone without adding to LaineyGossip Filmmaker describes October 7 experience in new documentary - Israel Culture The Jerusalem Post Methodists watch General Conference for verdict on human sexuality WJHL-TV News Channel 11 Title IX protections now extend to gender identity and sexuality. Here's what that means in Florida WUSF Semester of SB 17: Gender and Sexuality Collective provides safe space for LGBTQ+ students amid shutdowns, changes The Daily Texan “Don't limit yourself”: Drag Race star Sapphira Cristál reflects on her fluid sexuality Gay Times Magazine 'We were so close': Nebraska mother responds to veto of child sexual assault and abuse bill • Nebraska Examiner Nebraska Examiner Lil Nas X gets candid about his sexuality on new single, "Trust Me" The Line of Best Fit Diddy's Lawyers Fight to Toss Sexual Assault and Revenge Porn Civil Suit The Source Magazine 'Dead Boy Detectives' Boss on Exploring Edwin's Sexual Identity & Charles' Role in That Journey TV Insider Florida priest arrested on multiple counts of sexual battery ABC Action News Tampa Bay Ravenna dad desperate for justice after claiming video of his daughter’s sexual assault was posted on Snapchat Cleveland 19 News Daniel Bedingfield opens up about sexuality and a man he "loved" Gay Times Magazine Sophia Bush Comes Out as Queer: 'My Sexuality Exists on a Spectrum' Pajiba Entertainment News Dozens of people “stepped up” for sexual assault survivors at Final Steps Awareness Walk 25 News Now Billie Eilish on What Made Her Realize She's “Been in Love With Girls for My Whole Life” Harper's BAZAAR Human Sexuality Curriculum for 2023–24 Offered with Opt-In Leander ISD News | Billie Eilish 'didn't understand' her own sexuality Yahoo New Zealand News Utah woman charged with sexual battery after pulling teen's skirt down Salt Lake Tribune Sheryl Sandberg’s new film testifies to Hamas’s brutal sexual violence on October 7 The Times of Israel Billie Eilish Speaks on Her Sexuality: "I've Been in Love With Girls for My Whole Life" Yahoo Entertainment FBI Warns On The Nationwide Increase Of Sexual Assaults On Airplanes Tampa Free Press Former substitute teacher facing additional sexual battery charges WPTV News Channel 5 West Palm St. Paul police make arrest in sexual assault, burglary case FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul Sophia Bush Opens Up About Her Sexuality & Relationship With Soccer Player Ashlyn Harris 69News WFMZ-TV Research reveals mortality disparities among sexual minority women News-Medical.Net L.A. school athletic trainer pleads to sexual assault of 12 girls Los Angeles Times Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies turns 50 - News - Illinois State Illinois State University News Billie Eilish Reveals How She Realized Her Sexuality ThatGrapeJuice Women's Resource Center Now the Gender & Sexuality Center Swarthmore College How to Explore Your Sexuality, according to Science Scientific American ‘One Tree Hill’ Star Sophia Bush Confirms Relationship With Ashlyn Harris: “My Sexuality Exists on a Spectrum” Hollywood Reporter Navy Investigating More Than 100 'Secretly Shot' Sexual Videos of US Troops Uploaded to Adult Website Military.com Israel fumes as UN secretary-general leaves Hamas off sexual violence blacklist The Times of Israel APA welcomes federal rule adding protections from sexual harassment based on sexual orientation, gender identity APA Psychology News Ageism, mistaken beliefs complicate acceptance of older adults' sexuality University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign |
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